Page 78 of Of Diamonds and Vengeance
His eyebrows flew up in surprise, and he opened his mouth to speak, but my fingers fell softly across his lips, silencing him.
“I do. You deserve the truth. But I can’t—” I cut off, my words choked in my throat as I struggled not to cry. Seeing my visible struggle, Azurill pulled me into him, hugging me to his body. As his hand began to stroke my hair, sogently, so at odds with the blood-soaked warrior I’d witnessed, I let my head fall to his shoulder.
For once in my life, in the arms of a man my heart couldn’t help but yearn for, I let everything go. In great heaving sobs, ones I’d never allowed myself after that day, I let the grief explode from my soul, pouring out in tears and tremors.
And Azurill held me through it all. Stroking my hair and back, murmuring gentle words of comfort. I’d never experienced anything like this before. I hadn’t allowed myself to get close to anyone outside of Ula until I came here. And now my heart was so tangled up over this man, it was ridiculous.
I would have to tell him the truth. Tell this man comforting me so sweetly that I’d planned to kill him. I would be lucky if he listened, if he didn’t order me imprisoned or executed. The fact that this could go very badly wrecked me all over again.
He didn’t need me. He had plenty of options. Noble ladies of the realm were literally fighting to become his queen, and I was nothing but the lost little girl who’d planned to assassinate him. But…something about the way he held me gave me hope.
If I’d learned one thing living on the streets, however, it was that hope was the most dangerous thing of all.
Chapter Thirty-three
Azurill
To say I was unsettled was an understatement.
In the time since we’ve met, Jacinth has proven herself to be a strong lady who could go toe to toe with any courtier in the building and come away the winner.
To see her fall apart so completely…
I couldn’t help but be worried about what she saw. Her vague promises beforehand led me to believe that her thoughts and feelings about me, her lord, and her past, were all somehow mixed up together, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on the full picture of this particular puzzle.
I knew her story didn’t quite make sense, but I didn’t know the extent of it. We both wanted to trust the other, but there was something in the way, holding her back from taking that step.
My concerns rested on who she came here with and what his plans were—and what plans he may have involvedherin.
I could only hope that whatever she saw would help to cross that final barrier. The longer this competition went on, the more I could see a real future take shape. I could see Jacinth beside me, as my partner. I knew it was reckless to put my hopes on one lady at this point in the competition, but I found myself helpless against the pull I felt toward her.
My heart decided for me, and whatever reservations my mind held, it cared not a bit for them.
Still, my advisors did what they did best: advise me.
“Please tell me you at least have backups in mind,” Ruri begged, and I nodded once in confirmation.
I hated that, as king, I couldn’t just lay all my hopes on Jacinth as I wished. I knew it may not work out, or she may fail a trial, and I’d be forced to eliminate her. Or perhaps I’d find out what Carnelian’s plan was and be forced to imprison her.
I shuddered at the thought, my entire being rebelling against the idea.
“Sania seems a good choice,” Ruri hinted, though Arianell scoffed, shaking her head. “What?” Ruri asked, a perplexed expression on his face.
“That girl is more than she appears,” Arianell swore. “She hides too much within her eyes for me to be comfortable with her.”
“She’s probably the one I get along with best after Jacinth,” I admitted to her, and she shook her head.
“What about Allirea?” She countered, her head tilting to the side curiously.
“She’s as beautiful as the next, but even on our supposed date, there was just no connection between us.” I sighed miserably.
“How about Amatista?” Emrys asked, his brow cocked in query.
Ruri laughed, shaking his head as he raked back his frosty-blue wavy hair. “She completely bombed this trial.”
“What?” I asked, confused. She was from Amethyst, and she’d already proven how smart she was.
“Yeah, her potion was a disaster and nearly exploded. The other ladies, I believe, all at least managed to make a working potion. Even at varying skill levels,” Ruri explained, looking amused.
