Page 7 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
An almighty rustling of blankets and sheets came from the general direction of the bed.“What?Are you serious?”
“Don’t see how it could be anything else.Can you get me a couple of towels please?”
“You bet.”In a show of dexterity, the man leaped from the bed and ran toward the bathroom.Unfortunately, he was in such a panicked rush that he made straight for the puddle, slipped and fell.Crash, boom, bang.Killer barked and danced around us.He stopped and sniffed the puddle once before going back to barking.This was all apparently very exciting for a pupper.
“Fuck,” muttered Mal from the floor.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“No concussion?”
He rubbed the back of his head.“I got a pretty thick skull.”
“That’s true.Maybe we should calm down and not panic.”
“Let’s not be too hasty.The more we panic now, the better the stories we’ll have to tell later.”
“That comment sums your life philosophy up perfectly.But I think in all fairness you should have told me that was your motto sometime before you made me complicit in reproducing your gene pool.”
“I’m serious.Now we have a great party story to tell about how I slipped and almost killed myself when your waters broke, and then swam manfully through the stuff to get you some towels.”Writhing pathetically across the floor, he managed to get to the bath towels on the wall.
“I can’t help thinking this story will be rather different depending on which of us is telling it.”
He arrived back with the towels, sopping the floor around my feet.“True.I’m too busy being heroic to even notice how hot my mostly naked body must look to you right now.”
“I know, right.All slick with amniotic fluid.What a turn-on.”
His work mostly done, he grinned up at me.“I love you, Pumpkin.”
“I love you too.”
“We’re going to be parents.”
I nodded.“Yep.”
“Solely responsible for a tiny little person who will communicate mostly by screaming at us.Or that’s what Jimmy said.”
“Well, he and Lena have twins.Hopefully just one baby won’t be so hard to manage,” I said.“Why don’t we worry about that later and get to the hospital now?”
“Good idea.”
Nice and slow, he got back to his feet and grabbed another towel off the wall, passing it to me.With the towel pressed against my crotch, I grabbed a change of clothes, etcetera, then got busy cleaning up.Mal appeared in a T-shirt and jeans, his hair dark from a ninety-second shower.He looked at me and I nodded.The time had come.I was in labor.Okay.We could do this.
TWENTY HOURS LATER
“I can’t do this.”
Mal tenderly wiped the sweat and tears from my face with a wet cloth.“You can.I believe in you.”
“No,” I wailed.“What do you even know anyway?”
Mal opened his mouth to answer, but Lizzy got there first.“Just breathe, Anne.”
“Here comes another.”Breathing in pants, I pushed as the pain took me over from head to toe.“Oh God.”
Dr.Garcia, the OB/GYN, smiled encouragingly from where she stood between my legs.Fuck dignity.It had no place here.And while everyone was being so supportive, I was the only one who could push this behemoth baby out.Talk about unfair.I’d been so damn brave putting off having an epidural until it was time to push and therefore too damn late.
