Page 161 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
“Good.I’m really glad to hear that.”He smiles.“If it makes any difference, I didn’t like the way the guy at the next table was staring at you and trying to get your attention.”
“The guy at the next table was staring at me?”
“Yeah.He was.”
“Huh.I didn’t notice.”I swallow.“Since we’re doing such great communicating and all…I also happened to see you give Lena a couple of pensive glances.I think pensive is the word.”
“It’s probably the right word.”He softly laughs.“Like I said, I really haven’t been around her in years.The last time was when she and Jimmy were getting together.And between you and me, they had a fight this one time.It was kind of brutal.Jimmy wound up firing her.Guess I was wondering if she was really happy or not.Not because I am still interested in her as a friend.Just because, you know?”
“That’s good of you to care.”
“Now do you want to tell me why you were hiding from Jimmy behind the menu?”
“Ugh.You noticed that, did you?”
He just waits.There will be no sudden change of subject to save me, apparently.
“Look, I’m going to be brutally honest with you,” I say.“You seem to prefer brutal honesty to prevarication or any other such nonsense.The truth is he was my childhood crush, and seeing him in real life still throws me sometimes.My face goes bright red, and it is horribly embarrassing and stupid, and I wish it would stop.”
“Wait.”His lips thinned.“You have a crush on Jimmy Ferris?”
“Hada crush.When I was a teenager.”
Oh, dear.He has very much reverted to his former state of being unhappy.Crankiness fills his gaze.It didn’t occur to me that this might be a somewhat sore point for him what with losing Lena to the man.But seriously.
“Dean,” I chide.“Haven’t you ever met one of your childhood heroes and lost it?Perhaps not repeated, but still…you get what I mean, right?”
He frowns some more and then he sighs.“Rihanna.”
“Rihanna?”
“I had a thing for her when I was younger.”
I nod encouragingly.“She is amazing.”
“Crossed paths with her briefly at an industry thing a while back.I just stuttered some shit and ran away in shame.It was awful.”
“This is what I’m saying.It doesn’t mean anything.It’s just some strange fixation left over from our childhood that we’re still working through and has no actual bearing on our adult lives apart from being occasionally embarrassing because it causes us to momentarily regress.”
“That was a really long sentence.”
“I feel like it hit all of the important points, though.”
His gaze narrows on me.“Jude, are you going to get over your Jimmy thing?”
“Yes.Absolutely.Any day now.”I wind my arms around his neck.“Guess we both have our sore spots.But look at us communicating like absolute champions.Let’s make a deal that we continue to talk things out as soon as possible whenever possible.”
“That sounds good.This feels a little like speed dating, the rate at which we’re knocking down complicated topics.”His hands rest on my hips, and he places a gentle kiss on my lips.“Are we okay?”
“We?”
“Yeah.”
My smile barely fits on my face.“We’re most definitely okay.”
We get back to the guest house a little after eleven.It’s not exactly a late night, but I am usually in bed by now, wrapped in blankets and reading a romance novel.The initial high of being with someone is so beautiful.Like walking on clouds and feeling your heart take flight and all of those fanciful things.I had forgotten.Or at least I hadn’t made time to remember.Life gets busy, and years pass by without you realizing.Without you getting the things you want.And I have decided I would like to be in a relationship.With this man, if possible.
Dean is right, we’re speed dating.Part of it is the forced proximity of sharing the guest house.He’s right the heck there and will continue to be so each and every night, apparently.The only time we’re not around each other is when we’re at work.And when we’re at work, we’re probably both too busy to stop and think all of this through.Which brings us right back to being together and whoa.My heart is beating like a drum while my mind does its best to keep up.All of these hopes and dreams fill up my head at a dizzying rate.
