Page 139 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
“Good.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“That you should think about doing therapy too.Both with me and on your own.”He swallowed.“The thing is, I walked out on you and our son, Ev.And I’m never going to be able to apologize enough for that.No matter that I needed to get my shit together, that I was going through some stuff.It’s pretty damn unforgivable.Me getting drunk and fighting and shutting you out.It was bullshit behavior, and I’m so damn sorry.Please know that.”
“Yes,” I agreed.“That was…even if I understand why you did it, it’s a lot.”
“You’ve just had a baby, and you’re dealing with even more than me, I know.Me adding this stress on top of everything was fucked.”
I nodded dully.
“I’m just asking for a chance to get us back on track.To make it up to you and him.”He stared into my eyes intently.“And if you don’t want the nanny or the new house or any of it, then okay.We’ll find another way to deal with things together.I just want to be here with you and our son.Please.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.My emotions were running riot.My head spinning in circles.This was a lot.“I need a little time to think everything over, but…mostly I think I’m all right with your ideas.”
“Of course.Take whatever time you need.I’m not going anywhere again, I promise.”
“What else did the therapist say?”
His eyes opened wide.“She said a lot.We talked for hours.I had a lot of shit in my head I just needed to get out, you know?Then I could start trying to fix things.Get with the program and have your back the way I should.”
I smiled.
“I’m sorry this happened, baby.”
“Sounds like it’s outside of your control.We can’t dictate our feelings.They just happen.But you’re dealing with it.That takes courage.”
He nodded.“I didn’t want to disappear on you.But I didn’t want to make things worse either.And then I felt guilty for all of it, and it was just a fucking mess.”
“I know.”
“We’ll handle things together from now on,” he said.“I’m going to keep seeing the therapist and keep on top of any of this shit.”
“Good.”
“And I know moving is a pain in the ass.But I figure, if you want, we can keep this place.Buy another lot of whatever we need and have it all ready to go at the new place.Wherever that winds up being.”His fingers tapped a beat against his leg.“All of the money’s got to be useful for something, right?”
I nodded and relaxed back against the couch.Deep, even breaths.We were going to be okay.“And it’s not like anyone else would want to live next to Mal.”
“That’s very true.”His smile came more quickly this time.Seemed more normal.The stiffness in his body seemed to also be slowly easing.“She talked about support groups for new parents.But given how well known we are and everything, it didn’t seem like a good idea.”
“That would be a big risk.”
“Enough of our life gets splashed across the Internet.”
“Agreed.”
He slumped back in the seat.
“Are things okay with Jimmy?”
“I apologized for being an ass.He said he regretted having to punch me, but it was for the greater good.”
I snorted.“That sounds like your brother.”
“Yeah.”He gave a slight smile and then sobered.His focus entirely aimed at me.“I was an ass, Ev.To Jimmy, yeah, but most of all, to you.And our son.I missed time with you both.I made you worry.And I was so up in my head, I hurt you.The last thing I’d ever want to do.I’m sorry, baby.I need you, now and always.I need you both.Will you forgive me?”
And if I could have nuked the beautiful heavy wooden coffee table out of existence, I would have.But instead, I got up and walked around it and climbed into David’s lap.A place I’d needed to be for quite some time now.“I need some serious cuddling.”
