Page 125 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
Anything that might cause a reaction, that’s what they yelled.Assholes.
When someone got too close, I all but growled at them.A tiny wail came from the baby, and I wanted to bitch slap all of them.So this is what it felt like to get my mama bear on.Because how dare they upset my child.Regardless, we all kept moving briskly toward our waiting SUV.
We climbed into the vehicle quickly.The car door slammed shut, and thank God that was done with.For the time being, at least.
David placed the baby in the infant car seat thingy and had him secured in no time.Which was impressive.“Jimmy gave me lessons.I buckled in one of the twins’ teddy bears about a hundred times before the girls okayed me to do it on a real baby.They’re pretty hardcore taskmasters.”
“Nice.Love me some strong women,” I said, relaxing back against the seat.With the windows tinted, we had a modicum of privacy, at least.“I’m so ready to go home.”
“Me too.If I had to sleep on that chair one more night…”
The car started moving, and apparently our little one liked the motion.Any and all crying stopped, and he stared wide-eyed at the ceiling.Though it’s not like babies can see much at his age.I’d managed some Internet research over the past day.Not enough to make up for nine or so months’ worth of preparation and study, but it was a start.
“Can you believe they just let you walk out with a baby?”I smiled.“We only have a vague notion of what we’re doing.We could spiral at any moment.”
“Speak for yourself.My diaper changing skills are perfection.”
“You’ve come a long way in two days.I’m impressed.”
“Thank you.”He gave me a tired smile.Truth be known, David seemed to be handling this sudden parenting challenge better than me.He even managed to give our still unnamed son a bath this morning.“You worried about not having a doctor or nurse nearby?”
I sighed.“Logically, I know we’re going to be fine.I’ve just never been in charge of a little human before.What if something happens…like if he gets some tiny sore or something and we don’t notice and then it gets infected and—”
“Ev,” he said, voice firm.
“I’m borrowing trouble, aren’t I?”
“Just a little,” he said.“You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you start imagining that bad things are waiting around every corner.”
“You have a point.”
“We’re two reasonably capable and intelligent adults.Things are going to be okay.”
“Yes,” I agreed, shoving aside my mountain of doubts.I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Portland slipped by outside.“Everything’s going to be okay.”
“The thing about babies is, they’re either hungry, tired, bored, need a diaper change, or have gas.”Lena shrugged.“You’ve just got to correctly guess which one, or which combination, is currently ruining their entire existence.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I mumbled around a yawn.Four and a half hours of interrupted sleep a night will do that to you.It was amazing we hadn’t worn a path up and down the hallway during the many hours a night we walked back and forth, rubbing the baby’s back.I now understood why sleep deprivation is a form of torture.I also had a greater empathy for cows.Just call me the Dairy Queen.Making milk was now my life’s work.But how amazing was it that I’d made a baby too?
Life could sure come at you fast.
“I have no idea how you managed two at the same time, Lena.”Anne relaxed on the couch with a bottle of water in her hand.
“The girls ran Jimmy and me ragged for the first year,” said Lena, rubbing my still unnamed son’s back.He lay on his stomach across one of her thighs.The child was outraged.Again.Little fists waved, and even his tuft of dark hair seemed to be standing to attention.For someone so small, he sure did give being cranky his everything.
“He’s tearing my heart apart,” I said.
“Yeah.They’re manipulative little suckers,” said Lena.“But he’ll wear himself out eventually.”
Anne just smiled.“They learn how to go to sleep in the womb with all of the movement and the sound of your heart beating.Then they get out, and it’s all different, and they don’t know how to chill.There wasn’t much room in there by the end, so he’s used to being contained.All of a sudden he can fling a limb around and startle himself awake.”
David and the rest of the band were at a business meeting at Ben and Lizzy’s place, a sprawling mansion just outside of the city.They’d even built a recording studio on the property.And their son, Gibson, loved to play in the pool during the summer.Maybe one day we’d move into a house to give us more room.To give our child a backyard to play in and so on.Though I’d miss being in the heart of the Pearl District and so close to work.Not that I’d even managed to get back to the coffee shop since giving birth.Another thing to feel guilty about.Ugh.Women really tended to heap expectations on themselves.Trying to be everything for everyone, all of the time.It was crazy.
On the other hand, I’d never felt such love.I loved my husband.David was the love of my life.But my heart seemed to have doubled to make room for our son.My sweet precious boy.It was nothing short of amazing how much I felt for him.The lengths I would go to for him.Being a mother was wild.
Lena rubbed the palm of her hand in round motions against his tiny back, and ever so slowly, the caterwauling eased and then gradually stopped.The quiet was nothing less than magical.For a moment, all I could hear was our breathing.And all I could feel was a sense of relief.
“He’s asleep?”I whispered.
