Page 124 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
“Feeding time?”asked David.
“Probably.He just had a diaper change, so…” I got myself into a comfortable position then held out my arms.David carefully passed the baby to me.“I never gave much thought to breastfeeding, but I kind of like it.Just having quiet time to hang out and be with him, you know?”
David sat on the edge of the mattress to watch.Then he leaned in and lifted the end of the baby’s blanket.It had come loose with all of the passing back and forth.With a gentle hand, David counted his toes.“So soft and small.”
“He needs a name.”
David raised his brows.“A name?Right.”
“What’ve you got?”I smiled.“It’s not easy.I’ve been trying to think of something all night and came up with zip.”
“Ah, okay…they were actually throwing ideas around on the plane.I was listening some of the time when I wasn’t quietly freaking out and worrying about you.”He shrugged.“How about Nash?Short for Nashville and your love of all things country music.”
“Good one.”I studied the baby’s tiny face.“What do you think, my sweet boy?Are you a Nash?”
David furrowed his brow.“My son, Nash.Hmm.I’m not sure.”
“I kind of like Reed.”
“Reed?What do you think, buddy?”
Our baby drank on, staring up at me with big eyes.
“I think he only cares about milk,” I said.“How about John?For Johnny Cash.”
“Cool idea.You don’t think it sounds a little old?”
“I honestly don’t know.My brain is a murky mess.”I thought it over.“It’s not like we need to rush into naming him or anything.We can get to know him a little better.See what his personality is like and maybe get a feel for the right name.I don’t think he’ll mind being called baby for a couple of days.”
David’s wide smile was a sight to see.“Sounds like a plan.We’re doing great as parents.No need to worry about anything, okay?”
We only had to stay in the hospital for two nights.I was relieved to get home and start putting things in context.Normalizing the situation.There was a lot of talk from medical professionals about how fortunate we were that despite no neonatal care, the baby was healthy and the birth had gone relatively smoothly.
I also had a long discussion with a therapist.Which might need to happen again, depending on how I handled the trauma of the birth long-term.How I actually felt about all of it remained a mystery.But at least I’d stopped bursting into tears every hour or so.
Everyone visited to say hi to the new arrival.The hospital suite quickly filled up with flowers.And while I’d done my best to stay off social media and stay away from the crazy, I couldn’t help but hear about some of the things being said.And many of them were unkind and unnecessary.
“I don’t want him thinking he wasn’t wanted just because he wasn’t planned,” I said, fussing with the baby blanket.
“He’s not going to think that.”David pushed my wheelchair while I carefully cradled our swaddled son as the elevator descended, delivering us to our doom.Maybe going home wasn’t the answer.Hiding out in the hospital for another day or two might work well.But no, that was quitter’s talk.I knew things would be better in our own space.David gave me a grim smile.“Try and relax, baby.”
“There’s how many paparazzi and fans waiting outside?”
“Everything’s going to be okay.”
“That’s not an answer,” I mumbled with a pained laugh.My body felt bloated and leaking, but everything would be okay.It would be.
The two big buff bodyguards, Ziggy and Bon, stood ready and waiting.And there’d be more waiting to see us safely through to the vehicle.Sam had run through everything with us earlier.
While I’d gotten used to handling the spotlight over the last seven years, letting any of that near our child did not appeal to me.Despite starting rumors about our exit happening via a back door and stationing a bodyguard and decoy vehicle there, some people were still loitering near our true exit point.Dammit.We moved out of the elevator, and I put on my big dark sunglasses.A trick my best friend Lauren taught me early on.Ziggy took point walking in front of us while Bon watched our backs.
The flashes were blinding, and the questions being shouted at us were overwhelming.
“Evelyn, did you really not know you were pregnant?”
“Is it true you were in denial about the baby?”
“How does it feel to be the cause of canceling the tour?”
