Page 11 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
“I don’t need you looking over my shoulder,” hissed Mal.
“Figure you need someone watching who has a clue.”
“Whatever.”And Mal got busy.Since the table had sides, I couldn’t see much.Tommy’s little hands waved in the air and a not so nice smell came from his general direction.Mal and Ben fought quietly over how to get him out of his gray-and-white stripe baby suit.Then Mal reared back in horror.“Oh good God.My son.What have you done?”
“Black and tarlike for the first few days, then it goes more normal,” said Ben.
“Don’t try and sugarcoat it, Ben.It’s obvious that my child is the demon harbinger of the apocalypse.From the moment Anne got pregnant, we all knew this was a possible result.”
“Wait until he does a power poop right up his back.”Liz retied her long blonde hair in a low ponytail.“Those are truly special events.”
Jimmy blew out a breath.“In all honesty, some of those onesies I just threw out.There was no getting all the poop off them.It had gone everywhere.I didn’t even want to try to deal with the mess.”
“You did not.That’s terrible.”Lena laughed.
“We were surviving on next to no sleep with two very demanding baby girls.Sacrifices had to be made.”
“C’mon, Mal.Keep going,” said Ben.“You got to get the job done or his little legs are going to get cold in this air-conditioning.”
“Yeah, yeah.”Mal nudged a strand of hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand.“This is like diffusing a bomb.Please stop crying, Tommy.Daddy’s trying his hardest here.But your poop is really weird and sticky, bro.There you go, I think you’re clean now.”
“Do you need help?”I asked.
“Anne, you’re supposed to be resting.”Ev raised a brow.“He’s a big boy.He can handle it on his own.”
“He needs to learn sometime.Might as well be now,” said Ben.“That’s it, just slip the new one underneath him.No, position it a little higher.About there’ll do.”
“Brain surgery can’t even be this hard,” mumbled Mal.“Oh God, I’ve got poop on me.”
“Stop being so precious.”Lena crossed her arms, a smirk on her lips.“At least he’s not peeing on you.”
“Yet.”Ben shot her an amused glance.
Ev bit back a smile.“How many millions are your hands worth again, Mal?”
“Don’t mock me, child bride.”Mal, tongue sticking out in thought, fit the baby’s feet back into his suit.Not so easy to do since Tommy was kicking.“You just might be here facing this dark and perilous quest one day.”
“Oh, please.I already know how to change a nappy.”
“Me too,” added Dave.
“Way to have my back, man.”Mal pouted.“It’s just you, me, and Mommy, Tommy.Everyone else is against us.And…you’re done.Yes!Victory!”
“My turn.”Ben picked Tommy up off the change table, narrowing his eyes on the baby’s face.“He looks like Anne and Liz.Got the same shaped face.Very similar to Gibby when he was born.”
“And me.”Over at the basin, Mal turned on the taps and soaped up his hands.“Mostly me.Because I mean, he’s so good-looking, right?The kid is ridiculously handsome.So it’s got to be me.”
“Whatever, man.Hey, Tommy.Welcome to the world, my friend.”
“There’s enough second-generation Stage Dive babies to start a band now,” said David, arms wrapped around Ev’s waist, drawing her back against his chest.
“Nuh.”Jimmy shook his head.“Twins will probably be a duo like The White Stripes.Fierce girl-power rock ’n’ roll.”
Ben lifted a still-crying Tommy to his shoulder, positioning him carefully before rubbing his back in small circles while he did a back-and-forth movement.“Gibby will probably be a solo act.He’s not that big on sharing, and Adam is his current hero.”
“God help us all if he takes after Adam,” said Lena.“Did you hear the latest story about him from Martha?He trashed a hotel room!”
Ben frowned.“I’m going to have to have a talk to that boy.”
