Page 41 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
He just blinked.
“What?What is it now?”
“Are you honestly that afraid of feeling something for me?”
I set my jaw, but it didn’t help.Neither did staring at the stupid floor.
“C’mon,” he said, voice softer.“Look at me.”
Surly as shit, I did so.God knows why.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
My shoulders slumped.“I can’t find my panties.”
He exhaled and looked around, inspecting the room.Next he crossed over to a collection of dumbbells and hooked my black thong with his index finger.Trust him to find them immediately.I held out my hand to take them, but he drew me in close.
“What else is wrong?”he asked.
And the words were there, but actually speaking them…
Arms wrapped around me, holding me carefully.Like I was delicate and might break.Like I had cracks in me already.“You can tell me, love.It’s okay.”
My throat tightened, eyes hurting.“The last time I was doing stupid things like yelling people’s names out during sex and getting all overemotional, everything went wrong.I made it go wrong.”
“You and Dave?”
I nodded, cheek pressed against his chest.
“That was a long time ago,” he said.“I think you’re a bit wiser now, don’t you?”
“No.”
He rubbed my back, kissing the top of my head.God, he was so good at this stuff and I was so not.My arms clung to him.“Martha, no matter whose fault it was, I know you got hurt last time.And I can tell you for a fact that I’m not going to hurt you.That isnotgoing to happen.But only you can decide if I’m worth the risk.”
“I don’t want to hurt you either.”I hated the thought.He was such a good man.And this was all getting so complicated so quickly.
“Then don’t,” he said.“It’s that simple.”
I sniffled, taking a deep breath.“Honestly, Sam.It’s barely been twenty-four hours.How could things possibly get this difficult in such a short amount of time?It’s crazy.”
Without a word, he picked me up, sitting me on his lap on the bench.“Not really.I think we’ve been dancing around each other for a long time.By the time we finally got together, it was bound to be…well…”
“I guess so.”
“A bit more complicated then you intended, hmm?”
“You could say that.”
“Do you really want to just stop?”
“No.”I leaned my head against his shoulder, getting comfortable.Not hiding.Something other than that.
“All right then.”
“All right then,” I mimicked in a deep voice.“You’re so full of shit, pretending to go along with everything.‘You’re in charge, Martha.’‘Whatever you say, Martha.’”
“I’m your servant in all things, love,” he said, the smile obvious in his voice.“I just try to help you along occasionally is all.”
