Page 162 of Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas
“Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” he says in his smooth, deep voice.
“You’re very welcome.Thank you for asking me.”
“How about tomorrow night, if you don’t already have plans, you pick what we do?”
I smile.“That sounds great.”
“It’s a date,” he says and leans in for a kiss.This one is gentle and tame just like the other he gave me in the hallway back at the bar.There’s none of the smoldering heat from the middle of the night.We were all wet mouths and clutching hands then.This is sweet but perfunctory.
Though there’s always the chance I’m overthinking things.Again.It must be amazing to have some chill and be good at relationships and dating.Imagine the lack of worrying such a person would do.You could take up a new hobby with all of the time you’d save.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he says and heads for his bedroom.When he reaches his door, he raises a hand in farewell.
I return the motion with a hesitant smile.
And then he is gone from view.The door is closed, and our date is over.It was a success, I think.
The house is quiet as can be, and outside, everything is dark.At this hour of night, it seems the whole world is asleep.Or holding its breath waiting for the next thing to happen.Tonight was fine.It was good.We went on a date and, apart from a hiccup, it was great.Said hiccup probably even strengthened our burgeoning relationship when you think about it.I am on the whole content with tonight’s events.
I wander into my bedroom, slipping off my shoes and stretching my toes.It’s not that I thought he would necessarily try to get into my pants on the first date.But those kisses were a little lackluster.Harsh but true.I know for a fact that he can do better.Instead, he took our heat level down a notch or two.Or three.The woman in the mirror has no answers.I take off my makeup and brush my teeth and change into pajamas.Not even comfortable fluffy socks can solve this quandary.
I lie on my bed in the dark for almost an hour.My brain won’t quiet down, and I don’t know what to do.Though in all honesty I do know what to do, I’m just not sure if I should do it.Making decisions like this can be a right bitch.My hands curl into fists, and it’s all so frustrating.Along with the button to turn the libido on and off, there definitely needs to be one for the brain.A little sleep mode switch behind the ear or something.How useful.I consider going the warm milk and cookie route.But I’m not really hungry, and sugar would probably not help.I can’t read for a while because my mind won’t focus on anything else.It is all Dean and me town up there.Too many thoughts and feelings going on.Not even a meditation app on my cell can calm me down.It’s like I’m in Oregon and sleep is in Maine.No joke.The other side of the country.And no, I am not being needlessly dramatic.
Much.
It takes me a good minute of standing in front of Dean’s bedroom door to work up the nerve to knock.Then I start out so softly he would need superpowers to have heard.Ugh.Me.Honestly.I give knocking a less timid attempt and then stand there to wait.If he hadn’t figured out I could be complicated and high maintenance now and then, he soon will.Which is probably for the best.
He answers in those sleep pants with a bare chest and feet.Just how does this man expect me to not ogle him?It’s impossible.His eyes are sleeping, his dark hair adorably ruffled.He gives me a fond smile as he says, “Jude.Is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry to disturb you, but you said you wanted honesty, and I had a thought that couldn’t wait.”
“Okay.”
“Why did you pull back on the heat level?”
He cocks his head.“Why did I what?”
“Last night in the kitchen we made out and it was great.But tonight it was like I could have been your sister.”
“My sister?”He raises his chin.“Trust me when I tell you I do not consider you to be sibling like in any way.”
I take a step back.“Okay.Sorry I woke you.”
“Wait.”He grabs hold of my hand.“Jude, the thing is, I got to thinking, and I thought maybe we should slow down.That I should take the time to woo you properly.”
“Oh.”
“We’re not even at forty-eight hours of knowing each other yet.It is damn tempting knowing you’re so close.But I’ve got this feeling about us.I want it to work.”He licks his lips.“Listen to me, in no way at all do I see you as sisterly.”
I exhale hard.“Good.That all sounds…good.”
“But if we’re going to start spending a lot of time together like I hope we are, I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.Does that make sense?”He rubs the pad of his thumb back and forth over my knuckles.Such fleeting contact.Not a big deal at all.But the sensation seems to run straight through me, setting me alight.
“You’ve got a good feeling about us?”
“Yes.”
“Me too.”
