Page 67 of Summer Kind of Love
“What?” Logan spreads out his arms to showcase his full outfit. “You don’t like it? I think I’m going to keep dressing like this forever.”
“Oh my God, don’t,” I laugh, right before I grab his collar and pull him down for a kiss. I close my eyes and savour this moment. I can’t get enough of this. Of him.
I taste the coffee on his tongue and recall what he asked me. “No coffee for me right now,” I say as he straightens back up. “When do you start work?”
“In an hour or so.” He leaves the airy living room to grab me a coffee from the kitchen.
I take a deep breath. There was once a time when hearing about Logan working would make panic rise out of me. When he announced he was going freelance with his programming work, I instantly thought it was a bad idea. If a regular job had burned him out, the stress of freelancing would tear him apart, I was sure of it.
But I’d been wrong. With a few pointers from me on how to get clients, Logan has been thriving in this lifestyle. Plus, he doesn’t have to work nearly as hard to make the same salary he was making before. So whenever he feels himself getting too close to the edge, he just takes on fewer projects.
Which is exactly why I’m not scared anymore. He knows himself, and on days when it feels hard, he’s got me. And vice versa.
Anyway, I’ve got something new to be scared about. But I tell myself it’s going to be fine. Of course it will be.
At first, I was scared of falling back into the same spiral I’d been in the summer before. To be honest, maybe it would happen again. But a year into our time together, it doesn’t scare me so much anymore. Plus, the way we constantly move from place to place, taking our work with us, keeps me fully inspired.
Most days aren’t full of adventure. On days like today, we spend most of our time on our laptops, catching up on work. Some days, we might get a chance to take a stroll through the jungle, or go for a dip at the beach, or mingle with the locals at a bar or café nearby.
But today, we don’t do that. Today, we stay in, and I prepare a dinner of pesto pasta and shrimp, which we eat together as we exchange comments about whatever work pet peeve we want to vent about. Today, I hold something inside of me until it feels like the right moment. But as we’re cuddling on the hammock out on the porch, Logan senses that I’m hiding something.
He’s holding me against his chest, and he peers down at me, slightly amused. “What is it?” he asks.
“What? Huh?”
“Nuh-huh.” He presses me closer. “You’re all weird. What are you thinking?”
Today, I sigh and roll my eyes with giddy excitement before I get out of the hammock. I run back to the bathroom where I’ve hidden what I have yet to show him, and come back quickly before I lose my nerve.
And today, I make Logan cry for the second time when I show him the positive pregnancy test I’m holding in my hand.
Before I realize what’s happening, he’s holding my face with both hands, peppering me with kisses everywhere. He’s laughing and crying at the same time. An overwhelming bubble of joy bursts in my chest, and now I’m crying, too, kissing him back with all the love that’s within me.
“I love you,” he sighs against my mouth. One hand touches my belly softly. “Both of you.”
“I love you, too.”
In this moment, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never had so much love and laughter in my life before … or maybe I once did, when Logan was a part of my life, all those years back.
And even if it’s not perfect—and even though I know this journey will trigger my anxiety in new ways—I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because I have Logan by my side. My rock.
And I know he will keep me steady through it all.
