Page 55 of Beautiful Forever
“What?” Dierdre asks innocently, stroking the dildo like a cat.
Syn covers her scandalized face with her hands. “Oh my god.”
Tristan glances over my way with an amused smile and a shake of his head, as if to say,our sister is nuts.
The grin I’d been wearing falls away.
Because this isn’t my family.
I’m the outsider.
Syn’s unwelcome invited guest.
An intruder who doesn’t fit within this holiday familial picture they create.
Index. Middle. Ring. Pinkie.
Meticulously pulling at the tape so it doesn’t rip the gold foil paper, Constantine takes his time unwrapping the small box Syn hands him. Lifting the lid, he dangles the lace red panties from his finger. “I prefer black Calvins.”
Dierdre is eager to grab them as well. “I’ll take those. What?” she says when Syn’s eyes widen with shock. “Cillian will like them.”
Syn’s mouth drops open, and she slaps her hands to her ears. “I don’t want to hear about you and Cillian having sex.”
Wait. Dierdre…andCillian? He’s like twenty years older than she is.
I scowl down at Tristan, his returning expression about as happy as mine hearing the news.
“Says the woman who has three husbands and f?—”
Tristan pops up and pulls Dierdre with him. “No more eggnog for you. Let’s get some coffee in your system.”
“But I want to see what the other presents are,” she whines as he shoves her out of the living room.
Hendrix pulls Syn into his lap and soundly kisses her. “I never saw that one coming.”
“I did. The cookout at the house. It was totally obvious she was mooning all over him.”
His face scrunches. “I don’t remember Dierdre mooning anybody.”
Syn loses it and laughs so hard, she snorts—which is fucking adorable—and it makes her laugh even harder.
“It means Dierdre had a crush on him, not thrusting her bare ass in his face,” Constantine replies.
“I’m happy for her. She’s been alone for too long.”
For a brief moment, my gaze drifts to the Christmas tree and all the handmade ornaments Syn and Dierdre made to hang on it. Good memories they get to look back on and reminisce about every year when they decorate it.
I wish Aleksei was here. It’s the first Christmas I’ll spend without him. Fuck, how that hurts. His absence feels bigger than the universe, the void he left deeper than a bottomless pit. My twin is like a lost limb—not there even though I feel him like he was. Too often, I’ll go down to his apartment, expecting him to be there. I find myself talking to him, telling him about something that happened, only to realize that he’s not standing beside me.
I may share blood with Tristan and Dierdre, but we don’t share any memories like Aleksei and I did. We don’t share the bond that twins do. It’s like a huge part of me is missing.
I’m half of a whole.
Incomplete.
Broken.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
