Page 30 of Forever Mine
“Okay,” I hedge when I fail to get whatever message he’s trying to subliminally convey.
“And you went to David.”
“No, I didn’t. We were talking about this weekend, and I mentioned that I’d be in town after all. He had asked me if I wanted to…” I shut the hell up and don’t finish that sentence.
I’m not stupid enough to tell him that David wanted to take me out to dinner as a thank you. Not now, anyway. Later.
Julien lowers into the water until all I can see is the top of his head. Popping back up, he shakes out his hair.
“Beverly is a hot button for you.”
I slowly nod because she is. I’ve gotten very good at compartmentalizing things when it comes to her. I had to. In order to move on with my life, I had to lock away the child I used to be to become the man I want to be.
“Christ, Elijah. Do you not get it?”
“Not really.”
He sighs, a hint of exasperation coming through. “I want to make you smile when you’re sad. When you’re struggling, I want to hold you and promise you that everything is going to be okay. I want to kiss away your tears and be the light that guides you when you’re lost.I’m herefor you. Always. And yet, you talk to David about the stuff that matters. Or Fallon. Or Jay. Not me. Why have you been shutting me out lately?”
Have I been doing that? I’m about to disagree, tell him that he’s wrong, but I don’t when I realize he’s right.
“I’m sorry.”
At the sound of distant shouts, Julien shields his eyes with the flat of his hand, looking to where Jayson and Ryder had been tossing a frisbee back and forth.
“Is that?” Like the clouds splitting open to reveal a magnificent blue sky, a smile blooms across his face.
He suddenly takes off, cutting through the water with purposeful strokes, heading straight for the blonde standing with Jayson and Ryder.
Liz.
I didn’t know she was coming. Julien didn’t say anything. Maybe the guys invited her.
Kicking my feet, I follow Julien at a more leisurely pace, pondering his words. I never intended to shut him out, but perhaps I haven’t been as open as I should be. Deep down, I think I just don’t want to disappoint him. I want to keep the negatives out of our relationship and only focus on the good. But that’s its own illusion. A false nirvana. Like the proverbial ostrich sticking its head in the sand.
When I get to shore, I make a beeline for where we dropped our stuff, grab my thin hoodie out of my bag, and slip it over my head. The sand is warm beneath my bare feet as I approach the group. Obviously excited to see her, the guys talk over one another in fast succession, and I can tell from her stiff posture and wide eyes that she’s overwhelmed by it.
I catch Liz’s gaze, her eyes flickering briefly with a mixture of uncertainty, desperation, and something else I can’t quite place. There’s a vulnerability in her that draws me in, stirring a sense of empathy.
Julien reaches for me and pulls me to his side, his arm loosely draped around my waist.
“Look who found us.”
“Hey, Liz,” I say, hoping to put her at ease with a smile.
“Hey, Elijah.” She returns my smile.
Liz was always beautiful. Her smile, her sweet personality, the way she could light up a room just by being in it. With everything that’s happened to her, I hope she never loses those aspects of her personality. Without Liz, her love and support, Julien and I wouldn’t be together, and it makes me ashamed of the jealousy I felt last year when Julien was grieving her. He wasn’t the only one complicit in our almost breakup. We both screwed up and made mistakes.
“It’s good to see you,” I tell her.
She shifts her feet, digging her pink-painted toes into the sand. “After listening to y’all talk about the beach the other day, I decided to do some adventuring and see what all the fuss was about. Saw Ryder and Jayson when I got here, so thought I’d say hi.”
“Did you finally get everything unpacked?” I ask, attempting to keep the conversation light.
“I did,” she replies, her gaze drifting to Ryder when he asks, “Are we still on for Sunday?”
“What’s happening Sunday?” Jayson asks.
