Page 55 of Forever Mine
As we follow the cuspate shoreline, Liz stops every so often to pick up various shells she likes.
“If I asked you a question, can you promise not to freak out?”
She pockets a broken half of a sand dollar. “Depends on the question.”
I follow the trail of our footprints in the sand down the beach to where Jay, Ry, and Elijah are just specks in the distance.
“Would you be willing to go out on a date with Jayson?”
Our argument doesn’t matter. He’s my brother, and he’s hurting. He misses her.
Liz slowly turns to look at me. “I can’t.”
Okay.
“Why?”
“Ryder.”
Not understanding, I ask, “What about him?”
She pulls her braid off her shoulder and nervously grips the end in one hand. “I’m with Ryder.”
It takes me a moment to process her meaning. The first thing I think is, not this again with the Liz-Jayson-Ryder triangle of heartbreak.
I meet her trepidatious moss-green eyes. That’s not what this is about.Holy fucking shit.
“You… and Ryder?”
“Yes,” she replies, her face tight with worry.
Ry hasn’t said anything.
“When?”
“Recently.”
I mull that over. It explains a lot. Like Ryder being gone all the time, and her excuses of being too busy to go out.
“How recently?”
Her teeth go to town gnawing on her bottom lip. “Since the first day of classes. We kissed… and… talked…” Her cheeks puff out, and she blows out a breath. “We’re dating. In a relationship. I don’t know what to call it, other than we want to be together. We haven’t told anyone yet. Please don’t say anything.”
Liz was the keeper of my secret when I wasn’t ready to tell Jay or my parents that I am bi. She stood by me and supported me when I needed her. Now, she’s asking me to do the same for her. In hindsight, however, it was wrong of me to ask her. That secret was the catalyst that led to Jay kicking her out of the house that night. It’s my fault?—
Stop it, I reprimand myself. Don’t give in to the grief of what-ifs. That grief almost stole the love of my life from me.
“I never took the time to question your sudden decision not to go to Stanford and to come to CU with me. I was just so fucking happy that you did. You gave up everything for me, and all I’ve been doing is making you miserable.”
Elijah’s beautiful, haunted eyes shimmer with emotion. “I love you.”
“I know you do, and that’s part of the problem. I never doubted your love for a single fucking second, but I have made you doubt my love for you, and for that, I am so incredibly sorry. I’ve failed in every way a man can fail his soulmate. You come first, Elijah. Always. And I’m going to make abso-fucking-lutely sure you never question that again. You’re it for me. I don’t want Liz or anyone else. I only want you. It fucking killed me when you left. It was my fault because I pushed you to that point. Liz was… is my best friend, but you, Elijah Barnes, are the love of my life.”
“I can’t keep secrets from Elijah. I won’t do it. Not even for you. I’m sorry,” I tell her.
Sunlight reflects off the tears in her eyes. “I want Jayson to hear it from me and Ryder.”
“I agree. But Liz, are you sure Ryder is who you want?”
