Page 115 of That Girl
I retreat to the other side of the room, needing as much distance as possible. “Who told you?”
Guilt briefly fills in where anger just existed. “I overheard you and Knox talking in the library.”
“You were spying on me?” I wail.
“No. Yes. It wasn’t until I confronted Austin that—”
I cut him off. “Austin told you?”
Betrayal at thinking that the man who saved me that night is the man who told JD, knocks the wind out of me. I drop to a seated position on the edge of the bed. “He had no right.”
JD approaches slowly. “Austin basically told me to fuck off. Dustin and Prez confirmed everything because I was about to choke the life out of Austin.”
JD kneels in front of me, his hands going to my thighs, and I jerk at his touch. His face pains at my reaction and he places his hands to either side of me on the bed.
I’m lost in a night where I allowed my depression over JD to take over and I almost paid a horrific price for it. I still have nightmares about being held down by Blaise, Luke, and Will; how they groped, pinched, and slapped my body. How they would have raped me if Austin hadn’t come to my rescue. How they taunted me that JD wasn’t going to save me as I begged them to stop and cried out Jackson’s name.
“Please, baby. Please talk to me. I’m here now. I’m here.”
He lifts a hand to cup my face and I smack it away. Then I slap him across the face. My hand stings at the contact. I slap him again. He barely flinches at my assault.
“You left me.”
“I know I did. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Bullshit. You told me you loved me, and you promised me that you would never hurt me, but that’s exactly what you did. You hurt me and then you left me.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” he roars, standing up and pulling at the hair on the sides of his head.
I scoot backward on the bed to escape the frustration and anger exploding from him.
“That’s bullshit, JD! You’ve been spouting bullshit ever since you came back. I want the truth!”
“Well so do I! I need to know what happened.”
He wants the truth so badly? That’s exactly what he’ll get. In graphic detail. I throw myself back onto the bed, splaying my body out in a recreation of that night.
“You destroyed me when you left,” I fling at him, wanting to pierce his heart like he did mine five years ago. “I cried every damn night and could barely function during the day. You made me fall in love with you. You knew about my life. You knew more about me than Cam ever did. I exposed my secrets to you. I gave you my heart and my love and you left. I told you my fears about being abandoned. You promised me you never would do that to me. I have asked myself a million times why you did.”
I slide up the comforter in the same position I was in when Blaise threw me on the bed and straddled my waist.
“I needed one night to forget. To forget about you. I went to Austin’s party after graduation with Shelby and drank until I couldn’t feel anything anymore. That’s what I wanted. When Shelby said it was time for us to leave, I snuck off. That’s when Blaise, Will, and Luke found me. I was so wasted. They kept giving me more beer and I happily accepted it. I started feeling sick and dizzy and the next thing I know, I’m in a bed and Blaise is on top of me.”
I throw my hands above my head. “I don’t know if it was Will or Luke that pinned my arms down. But one of them held my arms while the other held my legs. I called for you,” I tell him. “I screamed your name. I begged you to come back and save me.”
JD looks at me in horror, his face turning a sickly shade of green.
“I begged for you and Blaise laughed. He reminded me that you were gone and never coming back. I tried so hard to fight them off me. I tried…but they were too strong. Blaise started ripping at my clothes. I felt hands everywhere hurting me. It hurt.”
JD releases a litany of curses and I meet his eyes. Fat tears are streaking down his cheeks from his eyes.
“I shut my eyes, accepting my fate. And then I felt nothing.”
“But Austin said they didn’t—” he croaks out.
“They didn’t. Austin saved me. I owe him my life.”
Sitting up, I rub up and down my arms, feeling colder than I ever have. Using the trick I discovered long ago, I bend over and breathe between my legs to create a hot pocket of air. The last time I did this was at Cameron’s gravesite the day I punched JD at school.
