Page 74 of Broken Butterfly
Jayson is opening the door for me, begging me to come inside, needing me to seehim. The dynamic between the two of us over the past several months has been complex and often strained. With my amnesia, I didn’t remember him. I didn’t remember us. And then I fell in love with Ryder. And a month ago, the worst thing happened. My memories came back and the first thing I did was sleep with Jayson. It took Fallon, one month, and a trip around the world for me to come to grips with everything. Only then was I ready to choose who I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. In the end, my heart chose Ryder.
And there lies the guilt. Jayson wants to fight to get me back.
I should tell him no, that I won’t come watch him tonight. But I can’t. Jayson was always my best friend before we became more, and I miss that part of us. I miss him. I miss the silver-eyed boy who would play knights and dragons with me. The boy who would stomp in the creek while holding my hand as we drenched our shoes and clothes. The same boy who would monkey across the oak tree between our houses and climb through my window. If there is even the slightest chance that boy still exists in the fierce man in front of me, I need to try and connect with that part of him. In a perfect world, Jayson and I could remain friends even though I would be with Ryder. But as life has shown me over and over again, perfect is never an option.
No one should blame Jayson for his anger. I sure as hell don’t. I would be fucking angry too if I lost the person that I loved only to have them come back and not remember me, then fall in love with someone else. I get it, I really do, but I can’t help the way I feel. I may be Ryder’s girlfriend, but I’m still Jayson’s friend. Part of being a friend is being there for the other person, and I want to be there for Jayson.
“Yes, I’ll come.” His silver eyes flash at my acceptance. “How safe is it? Should I be worried about the cops showing up?” I pull my hand back from his intimate hold, needing to re-establish boundaries.
“We’ve never had problems before. Do you remember how we would get GPS coordinates the day of the bonfire parties that told us where to go?” I nod. “That’s basically what happens with the fights. We get texted a location a few hours before. It’s usually some abandoned field or warehouse out in the middle of nowhere. Your friend, Trevor, said he used to fight. He should know how things are done if you want to ask him.”
“Maybe he’ll want to come.” I’m a little trepidatious about being around a group of testosterone-filled college guys who want to beat the shit out of each other for fun. It’s a given that Ryder will come with me, possibly Fallon too. Might as well go all in and ask Meredith if she wants to come as well. Watching sweaty, muscled men punch each other should be right up her alley. Julien is going out with Elijah tonight and I am not going to get in the way of their reconciliation by asking them to join us.
As I’m unlocking my car door to get in, Jayson cups the back of my neck and pulls me in to press a kiss to my forehead. “See you after chem?”
I hastily get in my car and plaster on a smile. “Absolutely.”
Jayson hesitates like he wants to say something else, then shakes his head slightly and raps his knuckles on the hood of the car.
I roll my window down. “Jayson?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to come over this weekend? To hang out or talk?”
“Yeah, Liz. I’d like that,” he replies. In my rearview mirror, I see him standing in the parking lot, watching me as I drive away.
Rushing home to get ready for school, I barge into the apartment, throwing my bag on the floor and hurrying to the bedroom. I hear the shower running. Perfect timing. It takes me less than ten seconds to strip and step inside the humid air of the bathroom.
I’m filled with optimism this morning. Julien forgave me, I’m working on rebuilding my foundational friendship with Jayson, Fallon is…well, Fallon, and I adore him, black soul and all. I’m back in Meredith’s good graces. Trevor and I picked up our friendship right we left off. I spent Thanksgiving with Ryder and his family. We visited with Freda and Mitch. And most importantly, Ryder loves me.
“Any room for one more?” I ask, stepping behind Ryder in the hot spray. He turns around and wraps me in a warm, sudsy hug. I walk my fingers up the hard plain of his chest and rise on tiptoe to welcome his kiss. Perfect.
“I was going to text you but decided not to since you said you wanted to talk with Julien this morning. I didn’t want to intrude. How did it go?”
He hands me my bottle of jasmine soap and I lather it in my washcloth. “We talked and made up, so all is right with the world again.”
Ryder takes the washcloth from me and begins to rub it over my body. I can’t help the illicit moan that escapes. I slap my hand over my mouth and giggle up at him with wide eyes. “You always bring out the wanton hussy in me.”
Ryder smiles devilishly and turns me around in the spray to rinse off the soap. “Do we have time?” he asks in that low, husky voice that makes my thighs clench together.
“I so very much really wish we did, but I only have like twenty-five minutes to get to class,” I tell him as my sneaky hand reaches back and curls itself around his thick, smooth cock and strokes him from base to tip.
“Elizabeth,” he moans, and I flip us around so he’s directly in the shower spray.
I rise up and murmur in his ear while continuing my leisurely stroking of him. “You missed a spot here with the soap. I’m just helping clean it off.” I rub my thumb in circles around the tip and use the lubrication of the water to start pumping up and down in long, hard, smooth motions.
Ryder glides his hand down my stomach, and I open my legs wider for him. I have no doubt we can get each other off within five minutes. Plenty of time for me to grab a trail bar, throw on some clothes, and get to class.
Fifteen minutes later, Ryder drives us to campus in my car. On the ride over, I tell him about going to watch Jayson fight tonight, and of course he says he’ll come. We park in the student lot, and as we walk hand in hand across the quad to Mason Hall, my skin starts to prickle and feel uncomfortable, erasing the effervescent feeling I’d been enjoying since the orgasm Ryder gave me in the shower. An eerie foreboding of someone watching me slithers its way down my spine. I look around and notice several groups of students blatantly staring at me and Ryder, some with hands cupped around their mouths like they’re passing secrets. After the comments from those girls yesterday at Meredith’s dorm, having more people stare at me today puts me on edge.
Ryder drops me off at Mason Hall with a sweet kiss and a reminder that he’ll meet me after class. I, in turn, remind him that I’ll be dropping by Fallon’s after chem class and that he should meet up with me there when he gets out of his afternoon class. Once in the auditorium, I take my usual seat with Meredith and Trevor, but I still feel several eyes on me and it’s starting to really freak me out. I dart my gaze around the room.
“Is it me, or are a lot of people staring over our way?”
Meredith is overt in her perusal of the auditorium. Several heads turn away from her glare.
“Nope, not just you. What’s up with that?” she says. She checks her clothes, smooths her hair, and lifts up her shoes.
