Page 4 of Broken Butterfly
“I swear on my life, I love Ryder. I would never hurt him, Fallon. Never.” When Ryder finds out I slept with Jayson last night, he will never forgive me.
“Then explain it to me. How could you fuck Jay when you say you love Ry?”
Fallon hit the nail on the head with that one. I did fuck Jayson. There was no making love at all. It was pure, animalistic fucking.
“When the memories came back last night, it’s like I became another person. I had no control anymore. It’s as if someone else had taken over my body. Holy shit, Fallon! I remember everything. I remember what happenedthatnight. My fight with Jayson. Going to Ryder. Coming home.”
I touch my tattooed-covered scars on my side. “I can feelHisbreath on my skin. The way the knife slid easily into me. I can see my parents. I remember whatHedid to Hailey!” I scream, not able to bear the memory of what happened to my sister.
I jump off the bed and start throwing anything I can get my hands on. Glass items, cologne bottles, papers, and books crash into the walls and onto the floor. Fallon tries to grab me, but I twist out of his hold and start punching and slapping him just like I did to Jayson last night. I’m so angry. I want to hurt something. I want someone to hurt as badly as I do.
Fallon catches my fist and twists my arm back behind me. The sharp tug of pain spurs me on, and I kick him. He lifts and flips me over onto the bed, then lands on top of me, pinning me down. I growl up at him and he smashes his mouth down onto my lips. The shock of his mouth on mine stops me cold and sobers me up instantly.
“Fallon, what the hell?” I screech, bucking up to throw him off me.
Fallon grins down at me. Hefucking grinsand I still my movements. “It made you stop, didn’t it?”
He lifts himself up. I want to smack the smirk off his face at the same time I want to hug him. He’s right. The kiss brought me back to reality and dried my tears. I’m still angry, though. I’m still destroyed.
“What am I going to do, Fallon? How can I face Ryder after what I’ve done?”
Fallon pulls me to a sitting position. “What do you want to happen?”
I scrape my fingernails over my thighs, needing to feel that slight sting of pain on my skin. I’m briefly reminded of the marks Hailey tried to hide from me that morning in our bathroom. “I don’t know,” I reply, heartbroken and lost.
It’s the truth. My mind is having an internal battle between what once was and what is now. I already know I’m about to do the one thing I promised Ryder and Julien I would never do again. It’s going to break my heart and hurt the boys deeply, but until I can get a grip on which Elizabeth will prevail, I need to stay away from all three of them. Not just for their sake, but for mine as well. And knowing what I have to do just makes everything seem that much worse now. I swore to Ryder that if my memories returned, it would not change things between the two of us. I promised Julien that I would never leave again. And knowing I will not keep those promises shreds my already tattered heart even more. I thought I couldn’t break any more than I already have, but I was so wrong.Poor little broken butterfly.
Fallon scrutinizes me for a long minute, then appears to make a decision. “Stay here. Do not leave this room.”
I flop back on the bed and grab one of Fallon’s pillows. I want to tell him I have nowhere to go. I can’t go home because Ryder will be there. Fallon leaves the room and closes the door behind him. My body and mind finally agree on one thing—total exhaustion. Within minutes, I’m asleep.
I leave Elizabeth in my room and go downstairs. A few of my frat brothers stop talking when I round the corner to go to the kitchen, but when Matt spots me, he elbows Jacob beside him, and they both grin.
“Damn, Fallon. You’re the only guy I know who can get pussy express-delivered to him on a Friday morning. That chick is definitely a screamer.” Matt laughs. He thinks he’s being funny.
“Want to repeat that? I didn’t hear you.”
Jacob stops laughing and steps away from Matt. Jacob knows how I am. He knows who I am. Everybody on this damn campus knows. Matt, however, apparently doesn’t. He’s one of the new freshman initiates. He’ll learn who I am, what I am, soon enough.
Matt chuckles again and opens his mouth to speak, but I’m in his face before he gets a chance to utter his first syllable. I grab the front of his shirt and slam him against the refrigerator. The heavy appliance rocks back into the wall then settles.
“Fallon, what the hell?” he yelps.
I sneer at him, baring my teeth. “The first mistake you made was talking to me like we’re friends. We’re not friends, Pledge. I’m the king of this castle and you arenothing. The second mistake you made is that you opened that smart-ass mouth of yours. The worst mistake you could have ever made was talking shit about that girl.”
I release my grip on his shirt, then deliver a punch to his gut that sends him to his knees. I place my foot on his chest and push him down to the floor, holding him in place, not caring that he’s struggling for breath or that his face is turning red.
“You will not look at that girl. You will not talk to that girl. You will not come near that girl. Do I make myself clear?”
Matt gasps a few times then nods his head yes. I look around at all of the other fraternity brothers who have gathered around or are standing in the doorways that lead to the kitchen. “Do I make myself clear?” I repeat, looking at everyone. “Now get this fucker off my floor and out of my sight.”
I grab the items I want from the pantry and walk out to the back patio deck. It’s late morning and the autumn sun is bright today. The temperatures are nice and cool. I reach in my pocket and grab a stick of gum. Why did I stop smoking again? A glance up to my bedroom window answers that question. Popping the gum into my mouth, I take out my phone.
Me: Her memory came back. We need to talk.
I hit send.
My little kitten came crawling to me for help. She may come to regret that decision. I open the contacts on my phone, scroll to the one I need, and press call.
