Page 59 of Broken Butterfly
“Hi,” she says, verdant eyes imploring me for a hint of compassion or forgiveness. I slow at the bottom step, my hesitation ticking me off, then I walk on by. I feel more than hear her dejected sigh.
“What’s up?” I ask when I see Mom and Dad waiting with curiosity on the couch.
“Liz and I are going to tell them,” Jay says to me.
Oh.Oh! Oh shit. Those eight little words have my anger at Liz evaporating faster than a raindrop in the Sahara Desert. With Jay being my twin, and with my very close relationship with Liz, I always thought of Elizabeth Ann as mine almost as much as she was Jay’s. I felt the loss of her nearly as much as he did. I’m as invested in this conversation as they both are.
“Tell us what?” Dad asks.
Liz walks over next to Jay, and they clasp hands, united.
“Are you getting married?” Mom shrieks, looking happier than I have ever seen her. I go over and sit by Mom, knowing that the news she’s about to receive is going to break her heart.
“No, Mom. We’re not getting married. There’s something we need to talk to you about and it’s going to be hard for you to hear. I know you both have so many questions for Liz and you want to spend time with her, but this can’t wait. Just bear with us, alright?”
Jay grabs one of the armchairs and moves it directly in front of our parents. He sits and pulls Liz down to sit on his lap. She’s stiff as a board and looks uncomfortable, but she doesn’t get up.
“We’ve already told you most of what happened to Liz. How she was in Seattle with a distant cousin; how she was in a coma for two months, and then how she had no memory when she woke up. You also know that her memory recently did come back.”
Mom nods her head. “Yes. You told us about that. Lizzie, we are so sorry sweetheart. We wanted to come see you as soon as we heard you were back, but…” She trails off, not wanting to blatantly throw her two sons under the bus.
“Jules and I wouldn’t let you,” Jay finishes. “A lot of stuff has happened since August. Liz ended up in the hospital, and—”
Mom cuts him off. “Why didn’t you tell us? Were you hurt or sick, honey?”
“No, ma’am. When my memory was trying to return, I was having these blackout spells. One was really bad and that’s how I wound up in the hospital.” She angles her face back to look at Jay. “Jay found me in the library. He was there when it happened.”
Jay kisses her temple, and she finally relaxes and leans back into him.
“We found out something while she was in the hospital,” Jay says.
“A nurse came into my room and saw one of my scars. It’s on my stomach. I always thought it was from that night. But it wasn’t.”
Mom gasps loudly and covers her mouth. Dad puts his hand on her knee, but I can see his eyes hardening. Has he figured it out? Liz and Jay start talking quickly now, their sentences running into each other’s, as they rush to get it all out.
“I didn’t know what the nurse was going on about. She kept talking about C-sections and asking me about my baby.”
“Daniel, the cousin who had been caring for Liz in Seattle, confirmed everything. Liz had a baby.”
“Wehad a baby. A girl. She was Jayson’s and mine.”
Mom is openly sobbing now and tries to stand up, but Dad pulls her back down. “You saidhad,” he states.
“Did you give her up for adoption? Where is she? Where’s our grandbaby?”
“Mom, she’s gone. She didn’t make it.” Jay’s voice breaks when he says it. Liz has tears silently falling down her cheeks. God, even I’m about to lose it.
Dad’s lower lip quivers and it about breaks me. I have never seen him cry, not once. Dad and I are trying hard to console Mom who has collapsed against Dad’s side and is weeping uncontrollably. Dad struggles to speak. “What happened to her?”
“Daniel said that I was already pregnant when I was attacked. The trauma was too much, and she died in utero weeks later. I developed an infection and they had to do an emergency C-section to get her out. I was still in a coma when all of this happened. I never got to see her. I never got to hold her. They named her Elizabeth Ann and buried her in Seattle.”
“Ann, like your mom,” Freda whispers.
“I need a minute,” Dad says gruffly and walks out the front door.
Liz pulls Jay out of the chair so they can sit on the other side of Mom in the space where Dad had been sitting.
Liz takes Mom’s hands, trying to provide her some comfort. “Freda, we’re going to go visit her grave in Seattle over Christmas break. You and Mitch are more than welcome to come with us. Jayson and I would like to have you both there.”
