Page 52 of Broken Butterfly
It’s cold but the sky is clear, and a sliver of a crescent moon is showing in the late afternoon sky. I love it when both the moon and the sun share the sky together. When I was little, I used to tell Hailey how the sun must be lonely being up there all by itself. The moon had stars to keep it company, but the sun lived alone in solitary existence. The first time I saw the moon out on a sunny day, I was so incredibly happy that the sun had a friend and wouldn’t be alone anymore. It was the same day I met Ryder for the first time.
The closer we get to the end of the street, the more nervous I become. I train my eyes on Jayson and Julien’s house and I try my best to ignore the dark house right next to it. I stumble to a halt when I see the old oak tree. It’s lit up, like a beacon calling to me. Did Jayson turn the lights on? Does he know I’m here? I turn to Ryder.
“They promised they wouldn’t say anything,” he says, reading my thoughts.
I let go of Ryder and take a tentative step forward along the walkway that leads from the street to the front steps of the Jameson’s house. A torrent of memories assails me. This is going to be so much harder than I could possibly have imagined. I loved Jayson. I still do, just not in the way he wants me to. Twelve years of my life were so deeply entangled with his. He’s the father of our daughter. He was my first kiss, my first date, my first everything. We lost our virginity to one another. Jayson gave me so much. I don’t want to hurt him, but that is exactly what I’m about to do.
I wipe away the tears which are dripping like melting icicles down my cheeks and ring the doorbell. I take a quick look behind me but allow myself only a millisecond to glimpse back at Ryder and Fallon standing like sentinels at the end of the driveway.
A male voice filters through the closed door and I know exactly who it is before it swings opens.
“Hey you,” is all I get out before Jayson slams into me and buries his face in the scarf tied around my neck.
“Holy fuck, princess. You’re here!”
My hands convulse around him. I don’t think I can do this. Why does it hurt so much? I can’t breathe. Black spots start to swirl in my vision, so I clutch Jayson tighter trying my best not to pass out.
He lifts his head and I know the moment he spots Ryder and Fallon because I feel his entire body go rigid with tension.
“What the hell is going on? Why the fuck is he here?” I don’t know whether he’s talking about Ryder or Fallon. Probably Fallon.
“Jayson, can we go inside and talk?”
“Have you been with him the entire time? What the hell, Liz?” Yep, definitely about Fallon. “Why is Ry here?”
“Jay, Mom said the turkey is ready. Time to eat. Who’s at the door?”
I spot Julien coming out of the living room into the front foyer. He turns white as a ghost when he sees my face poking over Jayson’s shoulder.
“Liz?” I watch as Julien goes from sheet white to flush with anger, his silver eyes flashing with scorn. He aims an almost sneer at me, turns around and walks off. Holy crap. Julien has never been angry with me before.
Jayson tries to pull away and charge down the steps to confront Fallon and Ryder. I yank at his arm to stop him. “Jayson.”
He suddenly spins around and lifts me up, smashing his mouth onto mine. Is he trying to prove a point? Rub this kiss in Ryder’s and Fallon’s faces? A tiny part of me that is still clinging to Old Elizabeth rejoices, wanting a repeat of the night she returned and ran to Jayson then screwed his brains out. But I’m not her anymore.
I wrench my head to the side. “Jayson, stop. We need to talk. Please.”
Fallon is holding a fuming Ryder back and I know if I don’t get the situation under control—and fast—things are going to detonate. Thankfully, Freda comes to the rescue.
“Jay, Julien said Liz was here?” she says in a question, then rushes forward when she sees me, just like Faith did yesterday.
“Oh my goodness. Look at you! So grown up and so beautiful,” she exclaims. “Jay said you weren’t going to be able to make it. Come inside. We’re about to eat.” She notices Ryder struggling against Fallon’s hold and her smile falls.
“Jay, go tell Ryder and his friend to come on inside. Your father is carving the turkey.”
“No, Mom. Liz and I need to talk. Alone. Start without us,” he tells her and grips my hand so hard I wince. He pulls me around the side of the house and toward the forest where our fort is. Ryder and Freda both shout my name, but Jayson doesn’t slow down.
“Jayson, you’re hurting me,” I speak softly because I can tell how angry he is right now. He eases his grip but doesn’t let go.
It’s easy to see the remains of the fort up ahead since all the trees are barren and have lost their leaves. It’s a bit run down, a few pieces of plyboard are broken and faded. Hailey and I would spend hours out here when we were younger—raking the pine needles to create pathways through the forest, collecting things from the creek bed to store in jars, nailing sticks into tree trunks to create ladders to climb. It was also the place where Jayson and I made love for the first time, and those memories are still potent in my mind, like the recollections of first loves usually are.
Jayson goes into the front of the fort and hauls two stumps out, offering one to me. I place a gloved hand to the wood. My dad made these for me and Hailey. Jayson and I sit down at the same time and he hesitantly touches my face with his cold hands. He’s wearing a thin shirt and jeans and nothing else, not even shoes.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Where have you been? Why did you run off?”
I swallow. Here we go.
