Page 16 of Broken Butterfly
“Elizabeth, what’s going on in your head right now?”
I’m feeling an instant mellow as the alcohol quickly filters into my bloodstream. “Too much is going on in my head. I need a few more of those and I’ll be good to go.” I wave our server back over and order two more shots. Fallon doesn’t say anything; he just sits back and watches.
After downing my fifth shot, I announce out of the blue, “I hate Jacinda.”
“Why the fuck are you thinking about that bitch?”
My tongue feels a bit thick and I slur, “Did you know I caught her going down on Ryder when we were in high school? And then of course, there was your party where I saw her climbing all over Jayson, who was half-naked by the way.” I wave my hands in the air and giggle, then frown. “She was always trying to touch my men.”
“I think it’s water for you from now on.”
I ignore him. “Jayson tried to fuck me against a tree the night of the bonfire party. He was so drunk. Maria was flirting with Ryder. That night sucked,” I pout. “God, I hate having my memories back. I just want them to go away. Can you do that, Fallon? Can you make them go away?” I plead, tears springing up in my glassy eyes.
Fallon leans forward and wipes away my drunken tears with his thumb. “I promised you that I would help you, Elizabeth. It won’t happen overnight. Come on. Let’s go dance,” he says, and I stumble beside him back downstairs onto the dance floor.
The music changes tempo to a slower beat and I feel someone’s hand cup my ass and squeeze. At first, I think it’s Fallon. The tequila has slowed my reaction time, and before I’m even able to confirm whose hand it is, Fallon is punching some guy in the face.
“You don’t fucking touch what doesn’t belong to you, asshole!”
For a second, the guy Fallon just knocked to the floor looks up at me, and I swear he’s Jayson. I startle back and ram into Fallon. The guy picks himself off the floor, his hands held up in supplication, and backs away. I shake my head to rid it of Jayson’s image.
“I think I agree with you on no more alcohol,” I tell Fallon. “I’m going to grab a bottle of water from the bar.”
I take my time making my way off the dance floor, still feeling a little wobbly on my legs. I notice a tall guy standing at the bar. I get a brief glimpse of his shirt, which has a Randy’s Custom Auto logo on it. Ryder’s here? How did he find us? I am so unbelievably happy in that moment. I shove my way through the crowd desperate to get to him.
“Ryder!” I shout. Someone knocks into me, and I slam into a guy to my left. I push him away. He’s not the man I want. I look back to the bar and Ryder is walking off. “Ryder! Wait! Don’t leave!” Fallon calls my name before he grabs my arms. “Stop it, Fallon. Ryder’s here. Let me go.” I try to wiggle out of his grasp.
“That’s not him, kitten.”
“He’s right there.” I point to the guy walking away from the bar. Wait. I’m confused. The guy wearing the logo shirt has red hair and a nose ring.
“But, I thought…” More tears form behind my eyes and a deep melancholy settles inside my heart.
“I think you’re done for the night,” Fallen tells me, placing his hand on my lower back, and pushing me off the main floor.
I blindly go where he leads me, not caring anymore. As soon as we’re out on the secluded side street, the valet pulls up with Fallon’s car. Fallon buckles me in and drives us back to the hotel as I cry silent tears that don’t want to stop. I let him carry me into our suite, my head as heavy as my heart as it drops onto his shoulder, but instead of taking me to my room, he sits me down on one of the sofas and pulls off my boots.
“I miss them,” I whisper, like I’m telling a secret that I don’t want anyone else to hear.
“Who?”
My parents. My sister. Ryder. Jayson. Julien. I miss them all.
“It’s too much,” I tell him, breaking down into wracking sobs. The loss of my parents and my sister. The loss of a child I never knew. The loss of what Old Elizabeth had with Jayson. The loss of what New Elizabeth had been building with Ryder. I feel it all, and it’s just too much. Pain. Sorrow. Heartbreak. Loss. Grief.
“I want my mom,” I finally choke out.
“I know you do,” he says softly. Fallon holds me and lets me cry. It’s something I hadn’t allowed myself to do until now.
“I want to go home. Take me home, Fallon.”
“Close your eyes and tell me who you see.”
I give him a surly look.
“Close your eyes, kitten.”
I do.
