Page 81 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“Are they the same person?”
“Yes,” Storee answers.
“I’ve kissed a woman too, a few times,” I say with a nod. “And I’ve kissed Cole on the cheek, not on the lips, even though I joked about it. And you’ve kissed a man...” I gesture to Betty.
“Oh yes, lots of times. I’ve touched many lips with my lips.”
“Hey, so have I!” I say, pointing to my chest.
Cole rubs his temple. “Please, someone change the subject.”
“So to sum it up, you once gagged on a spicy sausage, you haven’t experienced a girthy penis, you kissed a girl once, but you prefer a man’s lips on yours,” I say.
“Yes, that pretty much sums it all up. And you’ve kissed many a woman but only Cole on the cheek.”
“Yup,” I answer. “Wow, we’re good listeners.”
“I’d say so.” Betty nervously smiles and then takes a sip of her drink. I join her while silence falls among the group.
Well, that was going well for a second.
Betty
I’m very aware right now of just how large Atlas is.
Like . . . very aware.
I don’t know whether it’s the mulled cider, or if I’ve just finally given myself enough time to pay attention, but man, is he large. Those shoulders, they’re like two sets of mine put together. And his legs, they’re nearly busting out of his jeans. Like tree trunks sprouting from his hips. Not to mention his chest. It’s so expansive. How does one grow themselves to be that big? Does he have a hard time finding clothes to fit him?
In reality, he’s not that much bigger than Cole, but to me, Cole feels like a good size, and Atlas is like... the giant who fell down from the beanstalk and has decided to live among the peasants.
And sure, I might be on my third mulled cider, and things are feeling a little hazy, slightly distorted, but I’m still very much aware... aware of his size.
“You’re so big,” I say, looking up at him as we all share some cookies that Cole grabbed from a local vendor.
Atlas glances down at himself and then back at me. “I grew myself.”
“It’s very impressive. You did a wonderful job.”
“Thank you. You didn’t grow that much.”
“I know.” I lean my chin on my hand. “Can you believe that? What was I thinking?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you were concerned about other things... like... like growing that pretty face.”
I smile. “Aw, was that a flirtatious compliment?”
“I’d say just a compliment. How could I ever flirt with the enemy?” He winks.
“You’re right. You could never flirt with the enemy.” I sigh and then turn to Cole and Storee. “Do you guys think I’m a jerk?”
“Yes,” Atlas says.
I shove at his rock-hard chest, not even moving him a millimeter. “I wasn’t speaking to you.”
“Don’t stifle my opinion like you’re trying to stifle my farm.” He chuckles, but I ignore the deep rumble and focus on Storee and Cole.
“I’m not trying to be a jerk.”
