Page 66 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“Great, because I don’t want to,” I say. “Unless you want me to...”
“What is even happening right now? I’m not going to be naked in front of you.”
“Great, because I wasn’t going to show you my nakedness either.”
“Ew, I don’t want to see you naked.”
Ew?
Ew??
Well, that’s fucking insulting.
She would be so lucky to see me naked.
“I have it on good authority that I have quite the body,” I say, chin lifted.
“Doesn’t mean I want to see it naked.”
“Why not? I see it naked every day, and I think to myself,Wow, I’m lucky.”
“You’re deranged.”
I clear my throat and look away, mumbling, “Yeah, well, you’re not much better.”
Chapter Thirteen
Betty
Narrator: Painful, dreadfully painful.
Max thought all he had to do was show up and talk to her, but what he forgot was he didn’t know what to talk to her about. Nor did he realize that he’d be talking to someone who rambles just as much as he does.
Leaving their conversation a painful experience.
However, Frank and Leslie are having the time of their lives, even recording some of the conversation to listen to on the way back to Idaho Springs. They came for the fruitcake and are leaving with an awkward conversation to relive over and over again.
I owe him nothing. I can leave.
I can stand up from these bleachers right now and just leave without a farewell. Without even a glance in his direction.
After the whole naked thing—still feel like I’m going around in circles over that—I don’t think he’d blame me if I left. I think he’d probably welcome it, and then he could kick back with Frank and Leslie over there and talk about what a disaster the last twenty minutes have been.
I think if I just stand, sayexcuse me, and take off without looking back, this could all just change within a blink of an eye. I can run to the local Myrrh-cantile, grab some alcohol, and try to wash away this day.
Maybe some cookies from Warm Your Spirits.
Perhaps some ice cream as well.
And some more two-liters, just in case he plans to stalk me again.
So then it’s settled. I’m going to put everyone out of their misery and make my move.
On a deep breath, without saying a word, I stand from the bleachers with all the fortitude I can muster, and I’m about to turn to walk past Atlas when, to my dismay, he stands at the same time.
What the hell does he think he’s doing?
He glances at me, looks me up and down with a confused expression, and in that briefest of moments, we silently stare each other down.
