Page 60 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
Fancy.
I give them my coat and then make my way to the right side of the bleachers, where I see Storee, Cole, Florence, and... ugh... Atlas.
Why?
She spots me and waves, so I put on my smiley face and head on up to them. Storee offers me a hug, and I give Cole a small wave.
“Good to see you,” he says in a generic way.
Atlas is next with his no-teeth smile. I return it and then take a seat next to Storee. Evelyn is with her sister. I know this because Storee said her sister wanted baby time.
“Wow, this is intense,” I say as I take in the scene in front of me.
Rubber mats run along the gym floor while five individual cooking stations are set up, one right next to the other, equipped with a working sink, burners, and ovens. It’s likeThe Great British Baking Show, but right here in Kringletown, Colorado.
“Oh, it’s very intense. Just wait. They just did the intros, and they’re about to start the competition. That man over there in the red Santa suit—that’s Bob Krampus.”
“Yes, I’ve seen him around a bit. He’s like the town mayor, right?”
“Yup. He’s a good guy to have on your side. You don’t want to mess with him or his town, or Christmas for that matter. He takes it very seriously.”
Noted.
“And that guy over there in the black galoshes, holding the shovel, that’s his son, Bob Krampus Junior, or BKJ as everyone calls him.”
“Yes, I’ve seen him around. Uncle Dwight has pointed him out.”
“Very nice guy, but also serious about the work they do here in the town. And that...” She pauses and then swats her hand over her face. “Dear God in heaven. Cole, is that you?”
I lean over to look at Cole, who is holding Florence.
“Fuck no, that’s your daughter.”
“What is happening?” Storee asks.
“Do you want me to take care of it?” Atlas asks, about to take Florence.
“Uh... let me check.” Cole pulls open the back of her pants and then snaps them back shut. “Nope, you’ll gag like the last time you tried to help.”
Atlas squeezes his nose with his fingers, making me smirk, because what a stupid and ridiculous thing to do. “Don’t remind me.”
“Babe, I think this might be a two-person job. Grab the diaper bag,” Cole says.
“Uh, excuse me while I take care of my daughter’s bowel movements.”
Storee and Cole work their way past us, leaving a wave of stench in their path. Oof, good luck to them.
Atlas glances over at me, and I glance over at him, only to quickly turn away as an awkward and unsettling feeling sets in.
I hope they’re back soon.
Because I can’t imagine sitting here the whole time, with Atlas that close and having to?—
“This your first time at a Christmas Kringle competition?” I hear him ask.
Great, let the awkward conversation commence. I’m not good at this. I’ll ramble. I know I will. Not to mention I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t know what to say.
Maybe if I keep it short and sweet, he will get the hint.
