Page 44 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“It’s okay. Sleep it off. Phone battery low. Don’t call unless an emergency.”
And just like that, she hangs up.
Mother . . . fucker.
Well, that was a completely useless idea. Glad it worked out.
I stand, pocket my phone, and then head out into the reindeer barn, where Cole is cleaning a brush.
When he spots me, he pauses and turns off the water. “Why do you look like that?”
“I need help.”
I don’t know if it’s the seriousness in my voice or the dejection I’m portraying, but for the first time since the wholeinvadersconversation started, he takes me seriously.
“Dinner at my place?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’ll be there at six.”
Chapter Ten
Max
Narrator: Both down on their luck but for vastly different reasons. Betty’s trying to find her worth, while our dear friend Max is trying to keep his. And unlucky for him, it seems like his parents aren’t interested in hearing from him, which is not helpful, because this puts Max all on his own. But I think Max has a plan brewing, something he’s been thinking about all day. Something that if done correctly could possibly win this battle of wits.
And not only will it help him keep the family farm, but it will also best Dwight.
And truly, who is rooting for Dwight in this situation? Raise your hand.
That’s what I thought. Not a single soul.
A man as sniveling as him deserves to be put in his place, don’t you think?
“I agree. He does need to be put in his place. Because going after Evergreen Farm like he is, that’s bold.”
Narrator: Some might call him the antagonist of the story.
*Raises hand* “I would.”
Narrator: And some might say you’re the hero.
“Well, if that doesn’t puff my chest out and reinvigorate me, I don’t know what does. Give me a hint. Does the good guy win in the end?”
Narrator: You will just have to wait and see.
“Fair, but one more question. Cole said something about a narrator a few years ago, and I thought he was losing his mind. Are you the same one?”
Narrator: That would be correct.
“Cool. I don’t know what he was talking about. You’re pretty nice, other than this whole Evergreen-Farm-thing-going-out-of-business, but I’m going to trust the process.”
Narrator: And that is why you’re my favorite. On with the story.
“Thank you all for being here today,” I say somberly as I dab my mouth with my napkin.
When I arrived at Cole and Storee’s house, I told them that I didn’t want to talk business until after dinner. Cole rolled his eyes, but Storee patted me on the shoulder. When Taran and Guy, Storee’s sister and her boyfriend, arrived, I caught up with them. Taran has been working as a nurse in town, and honestly, I couldn’t really tell you what Guy does.
“Almost feel like he’s just part of this story so people don’t ask about any love interests for Taran, but I could be wrong. He truly adds no value.”
