Page 190 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“To be fair, you were setting out to hurt me as well,” I say. “You were trying to put my family out of business. It wasn’t like I was just going to be a dick for no reason. You were attempting to end the farm my family built, that they rely on as a source of income, as a place that provides income for many others. It’sourlivelihood. It’s a place where they’ve grown traditions over the years. I was in a panic, Betty. I was scared, so I did something stupid.”
She pauses, her mind thinking about it.
“And listen, I understand where you were coming from. You didn’t know me. All you knew was what Dwight told you, which was unflattering at best. There was vengeance on your mind, and I was... I was caught off guard. I didn’t know how to handle you on so many levels, from your plans to take down the farm to yourfucking smile to your gorgeous eyes. I was out of my goddamn mind and just... just settled on the most obnoxious idea, which was to try to woo you to get you to stop planning to hurt the farm.” I scratch the back of my head as she crosses her arms in front of her. “It was stupid, and if I could, I’d take it all back. If I could do it over again, I’d just talk to you, try to reason with you, and then... ask you out on a date.”
She shakes her head. “Please don’t say things like that.”
“Betty, I mean it.”
She continues to shake her head. “No. Dwight said you were a manipulator. And he was right.”
“He wasn’t,” I say, feeling desperate. “I’m not that man. I told you that. You believed me?—”
“But you were lying!” she shouts. “You were lying the entire time. You weren’t interested in me. You were trying to distract and divert me from planning. And you succeeded. You tricked me, made me fall for your every word.”
“But that was real,” I say. “Betty, I don’t know how to explain this to you, but it was real. The intention was to distract you, yes, but the minute I set the plan in motion, I realized that I liked you. That’s what I’m trying to say. And the friendship you grew with Storee, that was real. Everything about it. The relationships you’ve built with the people of this town, those are real too. They love you here. They want you here.”
Tears stream down her face.
“And the feelings we grew for each other, to me... they were real. The kisses under the mistletoe, there was nothing fake about them. Wanting to see you day in and day out, that was pure desperation to be close to you. The nights we spent together, the days, the conversations, everything about it was real. Please”—I take a step forward—“please, you have to believe me.”
She swipes at her eyes, avoiding eye contact with me.
So I take another step forward, testing her boundaries.
Then another step, and when I’m an inch away, I wrap my arms around her, and to my surprise, she leans in.
A wave of relief washes through me right before I feel her hand at my chest and she pushes me away.
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “No, you can’t just... come over here and act like... like everything is okay. Like the entire town didn’t have this master plan to trick me.” Tears stream down her cheeks as her gaze finally meets mine. “Do you know how that makes me feel? Like a fool, Atlas. Like a fucking fool. And I’ve been there before. Been the object of condescending comments. No one supported me when I failed before, and it looks like Kringle is just as mean.”
“It wasn’t like that?—”
“It wasn’t? Because two people I never even met until today were in on it, so you can’t tell me it wasn’t like that. The friend I thought I had was in on it. The coffee shop owner, probably even Santa Claus, they all knew you were fooling me?—”
“They didn’t,” I say, trying to get my point across. “I need you to understand that?—”
“I need you to understand that you need to leave.” She points to the door. “Go, Max.”
“Betty, please?—”
“Go!” she shouts, a sob following. “Just go.”
I don’t want to make things worse, so I take a step back toward the door. “Betty, I’m... I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head, not wanting to hear it, so I take that as my sign to leave.Fuck.
Chapter Thirty-One
Max
Narrator: The air grows still as Max stands outside Betty’s cottage, desperately wanting to go back, desperately wanting to keep trying over and over again to win her back, but he knows talking is not going to do him any good, just like Bob and Dwight said.
So with a heavy heart and a mind bereft of ideas, he goes to the one place where he knows he can find help.
At least he hopes so.
“Can I come in?”
