Page 181 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
Thankfully, she’s quick to respond.
Betty:I know. It was sad and cold in my bed. Do you think your parents will let you spend the night?
Max:LOL I don’t need their permission.
Betty:Then why didn’t you spend the night last night?
Max:Cleaning the couch, remember?
Betty:Oh right. Did your dad watch over you?
Max:Like a hawk.
Betty:Yikes. But did you get your ass print off the couch?
Max:There wasn’t one to begin with, so yes.
Betty:Don’t tell him about the air mattress.
Max:Fuck no. But should I tell them about your countertop?
Betty:NO!
Max:LOL! Okay, have to talk to Cole. I’ll see you later?
Betty:Yeah, see you later. XOXO
I pocket my phone and enter the barn, where Cole is sweeping up some feed.
“Hey,” I call out.
He doesn’t lift his head to look at me as he says, “Hey.”
“Uh... is everything okay?” I ask, feeling the vibe in the barn as morose. He’s usually grumpy and not in high spirits unless he’s around Storee or his girls, but this, this is different.
He sets the broom against a pole. “Let’s go to my office.”
Okay, this is very unlike him. I follow him into his office, and we both take a seat.
He leans back in his chair and rubs his hand over his forehead. “So I did some digging, and you know how the Dankworths have the surveillance cameras outside their shop?”
“Yeah,” I answer, wondering where he’s going with this.
“Well, they’ve had them up for years. Even before the statue. They made it seem like they were put up for the statue, but no, they’ve had them up way longer.”
“Okay, where are you going with this?”
“They’ve kept all the records and archived them. I was talking to Martha and Mae about it. So come to find out they have surveillance from the night Dwight’s ornament was stolen.”
“Wait, really?” I say, sitting up. “They could see that far back?”
“Here’s the thing. They don’t have it of the person actually taking the ornament, but you see the person head up to the tree and then head back, holding an ornament in their hand.”
“Holy shit. And clearly it wasn’t me.”
He shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t you.”
“Then, fuck, let’s tell Dwight. This will clear everything up. This is exactly what I?—”
