Page 148 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“Yeah, he definitely didn’t. My mom set him up with me as a favor to a friend. I told her I wouldn’t be doing any more favors for her friends.”
“After that, yeah, I’d be the same way. Are you close with your parents?”
“Pretty close. I’m the only child, but they also aren’t the type of parents that attach to me and revolve their lives around me, you know? I chat with them, catch them up on my life, and they go off and do their own thing. I’m assuming you’re close with your parents.”
“Maybe a little too close at the moment,” I answer. “I wish I wasn’t sharing the same living space as them, especially since my brothers tend to rub it in a lot, but I know it will pay off in the long run.”
“It will. Building your own house will be worth it.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“Do you have any awkward dating stories?”
I tug on my hair and lean back in the booth. “I mean, where do I begin? Being a guy in a small town with not a lot of options, you tend to date a few people who are in and out of the town, and there can be some real weirdos.”
“Really?” she asks, her expression emitting intrigue. “Tell me some.”
I heave a sigh. “There was the girl who wanted to try to have a conversation without using the letterTin any of our words.” I clear my throat and say, “Ee was he worse nigh of my life.”
Betty bursts out in laughter. “Why on earth was that a thing she wanted to do?”
“I have no goddamn clue. When I asked her out, she was normal, but then she sprang that on me, and let’s just say I faked intestinal issues and fled.”
“Did you have to sayintestinalwithout theT?”
“I believe I said, ‘Oh no, my belly is ouchie. Bye-bye.’”
She chuckles some more. “I guess I’m pretty normal compared to her.”
“Betty, you are easily the most normal. I was just thinking about how it feels so easy with you. Like I don’t have to think too much. We just work together.”
She tilts her head cutely to the side. “I was thinking the same thing.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Yeah, this is easily the most entertaining, thoughtful, fun, comfortable date I’ve ever been on.”
Leaning forward, I take her hand in mine and entwine our fingers. “You know what that means, right?”
“If you say we’re destined for each other... I couldn’t agree more.”
I laugh. “Holy shit, you know me too well.”
“Do I know you too well, or are we oddly the same person?”
“Yeah, I’ve considered that as well. Maybe we should do a rapid-fire round, see how similar we are.”
“Ooo, I like that idea.” She rubs her hands together. “On three, favorite month of the year.”
“December,” we say together.
“That was an easy one,” I say.
“Yes, but if we couldn’t match up on an easy one, do we even dare on the hard?”
I point at her. “Good thinking.”
She playfully fluffs her hair. “Thank you.”
