Page 140 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“Bullshit. I watched you lick your fingers several times after eating one,” Cole says, calling me out.
It’s true. I’m a finger licker.
“Either way, I’m not taking her there. I honestly was thinking about meeting her at Antlers Antiques and then taking her to Prancer’s Libations for dinner.”
“Why Antlers Antiques?” Cole asks.
“Thought it would be a fun place to wander around. She’s on a new journey and needs inspiration, and it’s a great place for that, especially since the store’s main focus is Christmas antiques.”
“I think that’s a sweet idea, actually,” Storee says.
“Thank you.”
“Has she decided to do something else with the land?”
I nod. “We talked about it today when we were checking out the reindeer. She was the one who brought it up. I didn’t pressure her or anything, as I really wanted her to want to make that change. Anyway, we talked about her putting cottages on the property and making it an adults-only retreat.”
“Oh.” Storee brightens up. “That’s actually an ingenious idea. Sherry Conrad was telling me the other day how busy the inn is, especially during the holiday season.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said too. I think it’s totally feasible. But the idea is just at the beginning stages. I think taking her to Antlers will help her see some of the history of the town and maybe spark some ideas.”
“Thoughtful,” Cole says with a curt head nod.
“Is that me getting your approval?”
“If you need it.”
“I don’t.”
Cole rolls his eyes. “I still can’t believe you two morons tried to pull a fast one on me.”
“Oh please. You had no idea,” Storee says as she hands Evelyn over to Cole, who starts burping the baby. I look away as she adjusts herself.
“I could hear the consumption of the Crunch Tators from inside the house. Hell, I think Bob Krampus heard it from his house.”
“Dramatic much?” Storee asks. “You had no idea until recently, so stop acting like you did.”
“I knew something was going on. You don’t go visit your aunt Cindy when I’m naked in bed.”
I cover Florence’s ears again. “Uh, hello, you have an impressionable child who can hear you.”
Cole waves his hand. “She only saysDada,ball, andno.”
“If that’s the case”—I lean forward—“you should have seen the size of my boner last night.”
“Jesus . . . Christ,” Cole says while Storee laughs.
“It was?—”
“Bo-na,” Florence says, causing all of us to stop and stare down at her.
“What did she just say?” Cole asks through a clenched jaw.
“Bo-na,” Florence repeats while waving her hands.
Uh-oh.
I slowly set her down as she continues to say it over and over again.
