Page 171 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“Oh my God,” Betty says from under the blanket. “Oh my God, Atlas.”
“Is there a person under there?” Mom asks, pointing to the lump but then covering her eyes again.
This is . . . not ideal.
First of all, there was nary a mention of them coming home, so what the hell is happening right now?
Second of all, I’m naked, Betty just has a thong on, and my cock is still rock-hard with a popcorn garland wrapped around it.
Third of all... this is not how I wanted to introduce Betty to my parents.
And I really don’t know how to handle this.
Kind of at a loss at the moment, because how does one recover from this?
Wish I could phone a friend, ask Cole what I should do, but since that’s not an option, I go with whatever comes out of my mouth.
“Oh, hello, parents.” I clear my throat. “Uh, wasn’t aware of your arrival today. As a matter of fact, I’m naked, and yes, that’s a person under the blanket. Her name is Betty. Hey, Betty, why don’t you give a little wave to my parents?”
To my utter surprise, Betty sticks her hand outside the blanket and waves. “Hello, nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Maxheimer.”
“Umm, hello,” Mom says awkwardly.
“Hello.” Dad clears his throat.
“So anyway, we were just enjoying some, uh, arts and crafts.” I gesture to the strings of popcorn. “As you can see, we’re having a wonderful time doing it... I mean the crafts, doing the crafts, not it. We weren’t doing it. Just crafting.”
“Then why are you naked?” Dad asks.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s how we do arts and crafts. In the nude. You, uh, you haven’t done that before?”
“I prefer to craft with clothes on,” Mom says.
“Solid choice.” I nod again. “I think most people also prefer to craft with clothes on, but I also don’t think they’re aware of the benefits of crafting with clothes off, so... you know...”
“And what are the benefits?” Dad asks, crossing his arms.
Why they haven’t excused themselves and allowed us to gather our clothes and flee is beyond me. Instead, we’re going to discuss the benefits of crafting while naked. Leave it to the Maxheimers.
“Glad you asked,” I say, trying to come up with some benefits. “Well, it takes you back to the roots, our ancestors, you know, carving things in caves before clothes were invented.” I scratch the side of my head as Betty shifts, her hair brushing along my thighs and still hard dick. Christ, you would think thething would deflate at this point. Then again, it’s Betty, there’s popcorn wrapped around my cock, and I can feel her breath across my skin. “Also, clothes don’t get in the way, you know, accidentally gluing a sleeve or sewing popcorn into your shirt. Really convenient to keep it naked.”
“And airflow,” Betty says from under the blanket. “Great airflow while doing arts and crafts. Never get too hot.”
“Great point, Betty. Solid, solid point. So there you have it.” I hold up one finger at a time as I say, “Ancestry, non-destruction of clothes, and airflow. Anyway, you’re back.”
“Hope your trip was great,” Betty says in a muffled voice. “Always wanted to visit the Christmas markets.”
“Yeah, did you, uh, did you enjoy yourselves?” I ask, crossing my arms now.Why the fuck are they still standing there?
“It was great,” Mom starts but then looks between us. “Are you just going to let her stay under that blanket?”
“I am.” I nod. “She’s only wearing a thong, so you know, doubt she wants to greet you with her breasts.”
“I prefer handshakes,” Betty shouts.
“And I prefer her breasts to stay private to me.”
“Well then... get dressed, for fuck’s sake,” Dad says.
