Page 15 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
Boy, she’s nice.
Everyone seems to be nice in this town.
That guy I ran into this morning, joking around as if we were long-lost best friends, and now Storee.
Maybe this whole situation will turn out better than I expected.
Chapter Four
Betty
Narrator: Were you expecting them to have their meet-cute already? Well, a meet-cute where they actually saw each other’s faces and introduced themselves? Maybe he’d search her out on the farm, looking for the girl in the red sweater? Well, I thought about it but then decided what I have planned might be more fun, because it’s Max after all. Stumbling into her on the farm is too easy.
Their first true encounter needs to be more exciting.
More unexpected.
More . . . Max.
But don’t worry. I’ll have some fun with them in the meantime.
“Okay, should I be nervous?” I ask as Uncle Dwight drives out of the main part of town and toward the land.
It’s been two days since I accepted his offer, and the only thing that I’ve accomplished since saying yes is to take a few pictures of a farm and draw Christmas tree after Christmas tree in my notebook.
“Why should you be nervous?” Uncle Dwight asks.
“Uh, because you said you’d show me my new home, and yet you’re driving me out into the woods. Is there a tent in the trunk I don’t know about? I’m not opposed to outdoor living, but I’m not accustomed to surviving in such harsh outdoor elements.”
“Do you really think I’d stick you in a tent and leave?”
“I mean, I want to say no . . .”
“No, Betty.” He laughs. “When I spoke to my dad about this idea, his initial response was to tell me to take care of Betty at all costs, and I’m sticking to that.”
“I appreciate that, but why are we?—”
My words are cut short when Uncle Dwight turns into the driveway of the property he showed me, and then a small cottage with a green roof comes into view.
All the lights inside are lit, giving me a view into the house through the windows. It seems like something you’d find in a storybook, with its Bavarian-style siding, red moldings, and a flower box full of evergreens.
“Is that... is that the place?” I ask, feeling slightly in awe.
“Yup,” Uncle Dwight says, bursting with pride.
“But it wasn’t there three days ago when you showed me the land.”
“I know. I would have brought you over here yesterday, but they were still hooking up the water and septic. I wanted it to be ready for you.”
“Wait, doesn’t that take a while to set up?”
“Not when it’s already on the property. Trust me, I’ve been planning this for a while. I just needed the yes from you to hook everything up.”
“And the house, where did that come from?” I ask as he pulls in front of it. God, it’s really adorable.
“It’s one of those prefabricated houses. There’s a company just over the mountain that sells them. I thought it would be the perfect place for you to settle in while we plan out this project. I also thought you would like to be on the property so you can be close and keep an eye on the construction.”
“I mean... yeah, but this is all so... Wait, is that my car?” I ask, pointing to my Honda CR-V around the corner.
