Page 146 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
She sips her drink and then sets it down on the table. “Interests... well, I like to crochet, even though I haven’t done much since I’ve been here. I’ve been kind of busy with this guy stalking me.”
“Guilty, not even ashamed of it.”
She smirks. “I also like everything Christmas. It’s one of the reasons why I liked coming here to visit. I love chocolate-covered cherries, like obsessed. Sometimes I get a few boxes during the season just so I can have them when they all go away after Christmas.”
“I love a chocolate-covered cherry.” I wet my lips, thinking over all the things I can do with that. “What else?”
“Umm, dislikes. Well, I don’t like it when people lie. I don’t like mean people. I think there’s enough rudeness and lack of empathy in the world that there’s no need to feed it.”
“Could not agree more.”
“And I really don’t like chocolate oranges.”
“Wait... really?” I ask. “You mean the ones wrapped in foil that you crack?”
“Yeah, hate them.”
“Okay, so you are obsessed with chocolate-covered cherries but hate chocolate oranges.”
“Correct.”
“Got it. What else?”
“You saidpet peeves, right?”
I nod, so she thinks on that.
“Um, well, isn’t that lying?”
“Umm, I see a pet peeve as something that’s unusual that you can’t stand. Like... people taking pictures of babies in cutout pumpkins.” I lean forward and say, “Cole did that with Florence, and I couldn’t get on board with it.”
She laughs. “Okay. Hmm, let’s see. Well, working in retail for a bit, I realized there is a proper way to hand back change.”
“Oh yeah? How does it go?” I ask.
“Coins first, then dollars, receipt in the bag.”
“Why that order?”
“Well, the coins first so people can hold on to them, then bills so they can stick them in their wallet, receipt in the bag so they don’t have to fumble with it. The worst is when they do receipt, bills, and then coins on top of the bills, so the coins go spilling everywhere. It’s inefficient and frustrating.”
“I can see your point. Okay, great pet peeve. Last one is comfort.”
“Hmm, comfort.” She sips her drink again, and as I watch her lips curl over the edge, the temptation to pull her across the table becomes very strong. “Ooo, I have one. Whenever I’m not feeling well or just need that comfort food that makes me feel better, I always grab a microwaveable mac and cheese.”
“For me, it’s a frozen pizza,” I say.
“Do you eat the whole thing?” she asks.
“Have you seen the size of me?”
“Right.” She chuckles. “You definitely eat the whole thing.”
“That would be correct.”
“So how about you? What are your interests and dislikes? I already know the comfort and pet peeve. Noting not to put babies in pumpkins around you.”
“Smart.” I tap my head and then give it a thought. “I obviously like basketball. When it’s summer, I join a three-on-three league, and that’s pretty fun. I like the outdoors, and I like to sometimes get metaphorically lost in the woods. I know our forest so well at this point that I’d be able to find my way no problem. I also really like forestry. One of my favorite things to do is to walk along our property and clean up the forest.”
