Page 168 of Till Summer Do Us Part
I lift up and spot a tray on the table near the window. “What time is it?”
“Nine.”
“What?” My eyes shoot open. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” He chuckles. “That wine really conked you out. I made a note to never give you wine ever again.”
“Are we missing anything?”
Wilder shakes his head. “Sanders left us a note that said to take our time this morning and reemerge when we’re ready. Which means we won’t be ready until dinner.” He wiggles his brows, and I push at his forehead, laughing.
I roll away from him, surprised he doesn’t grab me and pull me back into bed. I find his shirt on the ground, so I put it over my head. When I turn around to look at him, he has a disgruntled look on his face.
“Uh, was kind of hoping for a naked breakfast this morning.”
“You can be naked,” I say. “But I can’t possibly sit there naked and eat a meal. Having my boobs out in the open like that while having a casual conversation is not ideal.”
“Really? Because it’s ideal for me.”
I roll my eyes and take a seat at the table. Wilder grumbles and slips on a pair of shorts before joining me.
Today, it’s a make-your-own yogurt parfait, so I start by scooping some yogurt into my bowl, adding berries, granola, some chia seeds, and then a drizzle of honey on top. I cross one leg over the other and then pick up a spoon and start eating as I look over at Wilder, who hasn’t moved. He’s just staring at me.
“What?” I ask.
He slightly tilts his head to the side and says, “You’re beautiful, Scottie.”
I can’t hold back my smile as I look down at my yogurt. “Um, thank you.”
“I’m serious.”
This time, I look him in the eyes and say, “I know you are.”
He nods and then still leaves his bowl untouched as he says, “Can I see you after this?”
“Huh?”
“Can I take you out on a date after this, when we get back to the city?”
“Oh.” I shift in my seat. “I mean…is that what you want?”
“I wouldn’t ask if that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“I know, but you said you weren’t ready for anything like that. Dating. Relationships.”
“Well aware what I said,” he replies. “And I’m also well aware of what I’m asking now.”
I set my bowl down on the table as things grow serious very quickly. “I’d like to see you again,” I say, not holding back the truth. “But I just…I want to make sure you’re in the right headspace. You know? Sure, this all feels great now, and there is some clouding of the brain from the fun we’ve been having, but when reality strikes and we’re back in the city, I’m back at my job, and you’re volunteering, I think there are a lot of factors that we need to consider. And I don’t…I don’t think I can risk the idea of being with someone who doesn’t know completely what he wants.”
“Scottie, I know I want to see you again.”
“And I really appreciate that,” I say, the scars on my heart feeling like they’re being tugged on. “But I’ve been hurt badly, and I can see myself becoming very attached to you—a part of me already has—and even though we’re having fun, I can’t risk that attachment out of fear that you’re not going to be ready to take that step forward.”
“But I am.”
I shake my head. “It’s so easy to say that when you’re here at camp, with nothing else going on in your life. I just think…maybe we need to have this conversation later, you know?”
He slowly nods his head. “Yeah, I understand.” He picks up a bowl, and I can see the defeat in his shoulders, which makes me feel awful.
