Page 20 of Bridesmaid By Chance
She’s exhausted? Sheesh, wait until she hears about the roller coaster I was on.
Although I don’t want to discount her vicious days. Stacey works for Amazon. She’s in charge of coming up with the Dog of the Day shout-outs on Alexa. Sometimes she does the Dinosaur of the Day as well, but mainly she works on Dog of the Day. Riveting work. Shocked AI hasn’t taken her job yet.
“Couldn’t find a good picture of a cocker spaniel?” I ask.
“Don’t change the subject,” she replies. “And it was a dalmatian.”
“Those spots can be tricky.”
“Sloane, stop avoiding the question. What’s going on?”
She never puts up with my shit.
Ever.
“Um, well, you see…” I dump the rest of the fruit snacks in my mouth and then say in a garbled voice, “Something happened at work today?—”
“Oh my God.” She stares me down. “You nuzzled his crotch without his consent, didn’t you?”
As you can tell, Stacey is very much in the know about the crush I’ve been harboring—hard to keep such a secret away from your twin, especially on Friday nights when we dust off the blender and make homemade margaritas.
“No, I did not nuzzle his crotch.”
“Then you flashed him a boob? Your ass? Sat on his face and told him to feast?”
Well, face sitting was mentioned…
“No, Stacey,” I say in annoyance and then slide down the back of the couch where I take a seat. “I got fired.”
“Fired?” she screeches. “Hudson fired you? How the hell did you manage that?”
“Um, we don’t need to go into the details.” I wave her off.
“If our brother’s friend fired you, we most definitely need to go into the details. What happened?”
I start brushing my hair nervously with my fingers as I say, “Well, we had a meeting, and the meeting was going well. I was taking notes, and then out of the blue, Hudson said I could be a bridesmaid for a business contact and?—”
“What?”
“Please, Stacey, no interruptions. This is going to be long. I’ll address all questions after. So anyway, he signed me up to be a bridesmaid, and I was stunned because I didn’t know bosses could do that, and I mean, I would pretty much do anything that Hudson told me to do because, you know, I think he’s the most attractive man to ever walk the planet, and well, I kind of blacked out for a moment, and then the next thing I know,he’s apologizing to me in his office and telling me I can think about the whole bridesmaid thing and that it wasn’t fair for him to do that, and I thought, that’s so nice of him, and then this is where it gets tricky because I really don’t remember how it happened, but he called me young.”
Stacey winces. “Oh God.”
“Yup, I can tell from the look on your face that you know exactly where this is going.”
“You let loose.” She presses her lips together. “Did you tell him off?”
“I mean, in a nice way. It started slow, respectable, with a light jab here and there, but then it built up and I think I called him a weasel. I know I told him his snacks sucked and that he was eating too much sugar and that’s why he has wrinkles, and then one thing led to another and he fired me.”
“Oh my God, Sloane,” she groans.
“That’s not even the worst part.” The same embarrassment that I felt in his office takes root all over again.
“How on earth is that not the worst part?”
“In my ranting,” I say, humiliation nearly choking me alive, “after he fired me, I grew ashamed and angry, and it all swirled together to the point that I said a whole bunch of things that I never should have said, something along the lines of marking him with ketchup and letting him give a presentation with a ketchup jacket, and then after that, I told him that I wanted to sit on his face.”
Her eyes widen and she whispers, “Dear God.”
