Page 199 of Bridesmaid By Chance
Relieved, I take my phone out of my pocket and open my text messages. I have four unread.
Four from one person.
Four that have gone unanswered.
Guilt consumes me as I stare down at the blue dot, letting me know that I have not touched them, haven’t even looked at them. But I couldn’t. I knew if I looked at them, I wouldn’t have been able to be strong for my meeting with my dad.
I knew I wouldn’t have my mind in the right place.
With Sloane, I’ve come to find that she weakens me, and not in a sense where it’s a bad thing. She’s weakened me in the sense that she’s my Achilles’ heel. Shit, just like my dad’s weakness is his kids. That’s a startling realization.
But where we differ is I know with Sloane, if I thought about her and the scared look in her eyes when I took off, I would have returned. I almost did when I was in the airport. I almost threw caution to the wind and turned right back around to hold her. To comfort her.
But responsibilities for the business, for protecting the people around me who count on me, that took precedence. I had to shut down the lawsuit, to move on, to make sure everyone else was taken care of.
And now that it’s over, I can focus on her.
Sloane.
The woman who deserves all of my attention.
The woman that…fuck, that I’m falling for.
She’s actually taught me so much about myself in the last few weeks. She’s shown me that I don’t have to be serious all the time. That I can speak of my past and not be ashamed. That I can find comfort in another human. That I can open my heart to someone other than my siblings…
And she’s so goddamn smart. So intuitive, so much more mature than I’ve ever given her credit for. She’s the reason why I’ve been able to carry on with this business dealing. She’s the reason I’ve been able to remain grounded. She’s the reason why I want to rush back to London, tell her that I patched everything up, that I…that I want to give us a chance. Because she’s where I find peace. She’s where I feel like myself the most, and she needs to know that.
I tap on her name and I skim over her messages, dread filling me with every word written by her.
Fuck.
I drag my hand over my face, feeling her fear in her texts. The panic. The worry.
The anger.
I…I hurt her.
I fucked up.
My stomach twists, tangles within itself as I start to type back a response, telling her that I’m so sorry, that I’m coming back, that I’ll be there soon…but as I’m about to press send, I realize one thing—this is not good enough.
She deserves better.
She deserves so much more than a text message.
And that’s what I’m going to give her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
SLOANE
“Morning, ma’am,” the doorman says as he opens the door for me.
“Good morning,” I say in a cheerful voice, despite feeling anything but cheerful.
The only good thing I have going for me at this moment is the smoothie in my hand and the croissant in my bag. After a long walk in Hyde Park, where I laid under a tree, staring up at the leaves for far too long, I stopped at Joe and the Juice for a smoothie, which, not to knock England, but they are pretty liquidy. I’m used to a more frozen smoothie from America. But, dare I say, they’re maybe more delicious over here.
Either way, this drink is the only good thing I have going for me at the moment.
