Page 72 of Bridesmaid By Chance
“Don’t pump her up too much,” Stacey says. “She’ll run with it.”
“Very true,” I say, humoring my sister but then getting down to business. “So how do you two know each other?” I motion my finger between the two of them.
“A mutual friend,” Melva says as she walks up to the pizza box on the floor, picks up a piece of pizza, and takes a bite before sitting on the couch, crossing one leg over the other.
Help yourself, wasn’t planning on eating that.
“Mutual friend, that’s fun,” I say. “So, uh, can I ask why you brought Melva here, to eat our pizza and touch you in interesting ways?”
“Sloane,” Stacey chastises, but I don’t even care because this lady is weird. Not to mention, she’s older.
Like…thirty years older than us, easily.
She’s at least in her fifties.
“What? Just pointing out the obvious.”
“I hear that you’re in a marriage of convenience,” Melva says.
“Yes.”
“So am I,” Melva says with a smile.
“Oh, I thought…Stacey, you said you didn’t know anyone in a marriage of convenience.”
“With my characters,” Melva continues. “You see, I’m an author, and I know all about the marriage-of-convenience trope. Quite popular.”
My expression falls, and I turn toward my sister. “You’re kidding me, right? You brought someone who writes fiction for a living to tell me how to handle my very real situation?”
“Fiction is always the child of some sort of reality,” Stacey says. “She might have some really good advice. At least you can listen—she’s the closest thing we have to advice.”
“I discuss personalities and human characteristics on the daily,” Melva says. “I can very much help.” She takes another bite of the pizza and smiles broadly.
“At least hear her out,” Stacey says.
This is stupid, but do I really have any other options at the moment? Not really, so looks like I’m about to take some advice from Melva with the vagina earrings.
“Okay.” I take a seat in the chair across from Melva and say, “Impart your wisdom on me.”
“First, please tell me more about this man you married.”
“Well, is this confidential? Because it’s very important that this stays here, in this house.”
“You have my utmost discretion,” Melva says, her hand to her chest as Stacey takes a seat next to Melva on the couch.
“It’s appreciated,” I say, almost feeling like I’m making some sort ofweird deal with her. “Um, so his name is Rossell.” Stacey’s nose quirks to the side, but luckily, she doesn’t say anything. There’s no way I’m giving away real names to Melva. Can’t trust anyone with that kind of haircut.
“Rossell, a solid, strapping name.”
“Very,” I say. “And that’s what he is, solid, strapping, extremely attractive. Maybe one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met.”
“Ahh, I can see where this is going. You’re married, and you want to push the boundaries of the original agreement.”
“I mean, yes, why not have a little fun with it? The marriage was for a business deal, and I assumed that we would grow closer, get to know each other better. But he wants nothing to do with that. So I thought we could at least have some fun while in this purgatory, since I find him attractive and he finds me attractive. But he refuses to partake in that as well. Won’t even budge on his decision no matter how hard I try, but then he does things like puts his hand on my thigh when we’re in the car, and it’s all very confusing.”
Melva nods her head. “Let me ask, what do you want to get out of this?”
“I got money,” I answer.
