Page 71 of Bridesmaid By Chance
“You know, this feels really big. We need to do something special with this house,” I say.
“What do you mean?”
I shrug. “I don’t know yet, but I feel like this is more than just buying the house. There’s more to this story.”
“Well, when you figure it out, will you let me in on the plot?”
“Absolutely.”
Stacey sighs and says, “You know,I’mproud of us and your whore-ish ways.”
“Whore-ish ways?” I laugh. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“Well, without you selling your body for us, we wouldn’t be here right now, on a track to own our house.”
“I did not sell my body. I sold my soul. There’s a difference. If I sold my body, I’d at least be satisfied right now. Instead, I’m cranky and irritable, with a husband who likes to push my buttons.”
“Please, you push his more. Dressing up in nothing but an apron was evil. May as well have worn devil horns with the getup.”
“I had a thong on.”
“I don’t see how that makes a difference.”
“Makes a little bit of one, as I can say I wasn’t fully naked.”
Stacey rolls her eyes. “Either way, you’re both pushing each other’s buttons.”
Knock, knock.
“Ooh, that must be her, right on time,” Stacey says.
“Care to tell me exactly who it is?” I ask.
Stacey gets up from the floor and moves toward the door, not answering me. When she opens it, a blond with short, early 2000s Kate Gosselin–type hair walks in. Her purple glasses are huge, covering nearly half of her face, and her vagina-shaped earrings are both fascinating and somewhat off-putting at the same time. The realism is a bit much.
Why all the folds?
“Melva, it’s good to see you,” Stacey says, pulling her into a hug.
Melva? When did my sister ever become friends with a Melva? What has she been doing behind my back?
“So good to see you,” Melva says, squeezing Stacey tight. When she slowly—and I mean slowly—pulls away, her hand grazes over my sister’s shoulder and down her arm, and Melva smiles lovingly at her, as if…as if there is history there.
Umm, what’s going on here?
Stacey turns toward me and says, “Sloane, this is Melva. Melva, this is my sister, Sloane.”
I step up to the eccentric woman and take her hand in mine. “Nice to meet you.”
“Such a pleasure. I always love being in the presence of twins.”
That’s…that’s a weird thing to say.
“Well.” I clasp my hands together. “Glad I could make a lifelong dream come true.”
She chuckles. “Ooh, she is funny.” She touches my sister’s face. “Funny and sweet, what a nice combination.”
Uhhh, what’s going on here? What kind of lady of the night is Melva? Because she’s giving off those kind of vibes.
