Page 29 of The Path to Loving Him
Because I don’t want to get into it. Words cannot explain how utterly shocked...and angry...I was when I saw her again. There, in front of the house I was buying. How, I don’t know or understand.
What are the goddamn chances of the tenant above the garage beingher?The sexy siren/angel I had a one-night stand with?
Slim.
Yet here we are.
The moment I saw her, I was filled with dread and excitement all at once. Because that night . . . fuck, that night is one I haven’t forgotten. I think about it all the goddamn time. I think about the way she listened so fucking well, the way she felt, the way she sounded . . . smelled. It was intoxicating being with her, and when those eyes of hers met mine, for a brief second, I thought about walking up to her, tipping her chin up, and tasting those lips all over again.
Then I was reminded about real life.
A life where I’m the guardian to a four-year-old girl who lost both of her parents.
A life where I’m not the kind of person who would give in to temptation.
A life where I have three things I need to direct all my attention to: Mac, baseball, and school.
There isn’t room for anything else.
And with that in mind, dread filled me because I knew I had to have that conversation with her.
What we had could go nowhere.
Absolutely nowhere.
And I made that known despite how I actually felt.
It seemed like she was fine with that . . . so why am I over here ready to back out of a contract to a house that I know Mac loves, that I know she deserves, and that I know she needs in her life?
“You going to answer me?” Abel says as he tosses me the ball, and we both head to the dugout that I power washed yesterday.
“Why do I want to back out of the contract?” We both take a seat on top of the bench and lean against the painted cinderblock wall. I let out a sigh. “Remember that one-night stand I had about a month ago?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s the tenant who’ll be living in the apartment above the garage.”
I feel Abel turn toward me. “You’re fucking kidding.”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“I thought she was an out-of-towner.”
“So did I, but now she’s very much anintowner.”
“Don’t like the term in towner, so don’t use it again.” Normally, I’d chuckle, but I’m feeling so defeated that I barely crack a smile. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you have a great time with her? I’m pretty sure you were walking on clouds for a week.”
“I wasn’t walking on clouds,” I scoff. My penis felt like it was being carried around by a cloud, there’s a difference. “But yeah, it was a great night.”
“So explain to me how this is a problem?”
“Because I can’t have the distraction,” I reply while slouching against the wall. “Mac needs all my attention, and I can’t have some woman I spent one night with turning my head the other way. Not to mention, I’m going to have a tough season this year, and I’m moving Mac out of her house. The house where she spent all four years of her life and has memories of her mom in.”
“Don’t start with that. You and your siblings have said she’s been happier since the thought of moving. She watched her mom die in that house. Man, you know this move is for the best.”
I tug on the brim of my baseball hat. “I know, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be growing pains or that she isn’t going to possibly revert to wanting to be at the old house. I have to tread carefully, and I fear if Gabby distracts me, I might lose out on the promise I made to Cassidy before she passed.”
Abel is silent for a moment, staring out at the green grass of the field with a pensive look in his eyes. “You realize you’re allowed to be a person outside of the responsibilities you hold for Mac. Cassidy wouldn’t want you to set aside your life to take care of her daughter. She’d still want you to live.”
