Page 216 of The Path to Loving Him
So why does he keep texting?
Shouldn’t he get a clue?
And because I don’t engage in the text messages, I haven’t told anyone about them.
Not even Bennett.
Because why? I ignored, I deleted, I let it sink in for a moment that he would text me after so many years, using Bennett as an excuse to message me, and then I moved on.
But he’s back . . . again.
Ding.
Nathan:After all these years, I congratulate you and your brother on hitting the big leagues, and you can’t even take the time to text me a thank you? Is that where we really are, Gabriel?
Why is he using my real name? He knows I hate it. He knows it’s a family name I’ve always tried to disassociate from. This is him trying to poke me, to instigate, which is classic Nathan.
Ding.
Nathan:I thought that maybe after everything we’ve gone through, you’d show me the decency of responding. Check in on me like I’m checking in on you. Because there’s history between us, I thought you’d show me common courtesy to at least see how I’m doing. Guess I was wrong.
Ding.
Nathan:And this just comes back to you being the selfish one. You’ve always been selfish. It’s always about you. About what you need. Never looking to see what others need. The moment you saw that your brother was good at baseball, you used him as your meal ticket. So what now? Are you eating rich while you just ignore the people who got you there?
The people who got me there?
He can’t be serious.
My hand shakes as I hold my phone.
He got me nowhere. He did nothing to help me. If anything, he hindered me. He made me believe that I wasn’t meant to love somebody, that falling for someone would never be in the cards after what he put me through.
Ding.
Nathan:You realize that I was out there with you, right? Out there on the field, helping Bennett, teaching him. And you don’t even have the thoughtfulness to acknowledge that. But that’s how it’s always been, right? You. You. You. It might get you far, Gabriel, but you’re going to be sad and so fucking alone.
My chest grows heavy as my heart races with anger. With that feeling that Nathan instills in me.Instability.Like I’m not good enough, not perfect enough, not lovable enough. I can feel all those dark feelings coming back to me.
And . . . how dare he? Because he wasn’t there. Maybe once or twice. And he bitched the entire time. He was pissed that I spent so much time with Bennett.
Hands on my phone, I contemplate texting him back. I want so desperately to tell him he’s not right, that he’s a liar, but I feel catatonic.
Ding.
Nathan:Just remember, Gabriel, when you’re living the rich life with your brother, you had to walk over the people whocared about you to get there. You stomped their faces in the dirt, used them, and took what you needed. Enjoy the karma because it’s coming for you.
My lip trembles.
Tears form in my eyes.
And my breath becomes erratic as his words filter into my brain, trying to stick like they did many years ago. I spent so much time ridding myself of his insults, of his barbs, yet here they are, attempting to stick like glue again.
The back door to the house opens, and I barely register Ryland walking up to me with drinks and cookies until he’s right in front of me, looking me in the eyes and asking me what’s wrong.
“Gabby,” he says softly, taking my hand in his. “What’s going on?”
I can’t hold it back. The tears start to fall, and his concern grows heavier as he cups my cheek and wipes the tears away.
