Page 146 of The Path to Loving Him
“Yeah,” I say. “He actually owns the house. He’s my landlord.”
“Oh really? I didn’t know that.”
“Neither did I when I rented the place,” I say, sounding annoyed.
Christian puts the car in park and turns toward me. “Seems like there is some tension between you and Ryland. Everything okay there?”
I unbuckle my seat belt and turn toward him as well. From the corner of my eye, I catch movement, and that’s when I see Ryland sitting on the back porch of his house, holding his phone in his hand. What the hell is he doing out there?
“Hey, everything okay?”
“What? Oh yeah, sorry.” I let out a sigh. “Everything’s fine with Ryland.”
“You sure?” he asks. “Because it kind of seems like there’s some history there.” If he only knew. “And I really don’t want to step on any toes or anything like that. I already know Ryland’s not a fan of mine.”
“Ryland can keep his opinions to himself,” I say. “No one wants to hear them.”
“Ahh, so he did tell you how he feels about me.”
I look Christian in the eyes. “He might have said a few things, but that didn’t change my opinion about you.”
“I appreciate that.” Christian pushes at his hair. “Why would he tell you, though, unless something is going on there?”
“Trust me, nothing’s going on,” I say.
And maybe that’s what’s making me snappy. Because nothing is going on, yet he feels like he can approach me as if there’s more to us than there actually is.
“Do you wish something was going on?” Christian asks, catching me by surprise.
It takes me a few seconds to answer, but those few seconds are all Christian needs to hear.
“I get it,” he says. “I bet you guys have more in common with the whole baseball thing.”
“No, Christian, it’s not like that. It’s . . . it’s complicated.”
“I know, I can tell.” He sighs and looks out the window. “I like you, Gabby, but I don’t want to be mixed up with something complicated. I have a hard enough time trying to get along with him at school, and I don’t want to make it worse by stepping in on something he thinks is his.”
“I’m not his,” I say, wanting to make that very clear.
“You might not think that you are, but from the way he’s reacted when I’m around you, you are very much his.”
“That’s not for him to decide.”
“I know, and I respect you for that. But I think it’s something you need to settle with him before we do anything else, that’sif . . . you wanted to go out on a proper date. The offer is there, but I’m not going to push for it.”
I lean back in the seat and stare out the windshield.Do I want to go on another date with Christian?I’m honestly not sure. There wasn’t any...spark, if I’m honest. Not when he hugged me and not tonight. Part of why I yawned so much was because we had to try so hard just to make small talk.But I am not telling him that either.“God, I’m sorry, Christian. This is really messed up.”
“It’s fine. I know complicated. I did complicated before. It’s not fun. And I know what it means to be interested in someone else when things are complicated. From my experience, the best thing is to figure out the complicated and then move on from there.”
I nod even though I don’t think this is my problem. It’s Ryland’s.
Yes, I’m still attracted to him. He’s still an incredibly handsome man with enormous sex appeal. When he’s not being a jerk, he’s great to be around. Smart. His dry wit is awesome. But if living in foster homes taught me anything, it’s the ability to detach yourself from feelings. They’re often wasted emotions, anyway.And being rejected by your only biological parent gives you more resilience than anything else.Yep, that taught me how to disengage.
Ryland keeps making it hard.
“And I want you to know, if you do decide to move on, I want to be the first person to know.” That makes me laugh. He takes my hand in his and adds, “And if you don’t decide to move on, then just know, no hard feelings. Okay?”
I squeeze his hand, appreciative of how nice he’s being. “Thank you, Christian.”
