Page 39 of The Path to Loving Him
Jesus, Gabby.
“Uh, sorry about that,” I say, snagging my clothes and tossing them outside in the bedroom.
“Not a problem,” he says as he examines the faucet. He reaches to turn it on, and I swear to the plumbing gods if water comes out, I’m going to wish hemorrhoids on all plumbers. Because that would just be my luck.
Oh dear Daddy Landlord, my water isn’t working, please come help me.
Flicks water on.
It works.
I will freaking scream!
Thankfully, as I wait on bated breath with my ass clenched, nothing happens. No water. He feels around and pulls on a few things . . . again, no water.
That’s right, you be a droughting motherfucker.
He does a few more things, checks the toilet and the sink like I did, and then stands up and scratches the top of his head. “This was working before?”
“Yeah. I showered this morning.”
“Did you do anything weird to it?”
“Like what?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I don’t know . . . shove something up there?”
I purse my lips together as he turns toward me. “Do you really think I would shove something up there and then play dumb as to not knowing why the water isn’t working? Don’t you think I would have retrieved the thing I supposedly shoved up there?”
Another shrug. “Could have done it for attention.”
My eyes narrow. “Do you think that’s the kind of person I am?”
“I don’t really know you at all. I’m just trying to check all of the boxes here.”
“Well, check the box ofnothing was shoved up the faucet.”
He slowly nods. “Then I think I need to call a plumber.”
“Yeah, I could have told you that.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“Janet, the plumber, won’t be able to come over until tomorrow if we’re lucky,” he says.
“Tomorrow?” I ask. “She doesn’t make emergency calls?”
“No, and this is not an emergency. This is you being unable to shower.”
“Not that you need to know this, but I worked out like a beast right before this. I need a shower . . . bad. What am I supposed to do?”
He thinks about it for a second. “Have you ever showered in a sink?”
“You can’t be serious.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, didn’t think that was going to be the solution.” He glances around. “Well, I guess you could use the downstairs shower in my house for now.”
“Your shower? You don’t think that’s going to be awkward?”
“Once again, I’ve gone down on you. Nothing is awkward at this point.”
