Page 164 of The Path to Loving Him
“Umm, sure,” I say.
He lets out a determined breath, then looks into my eyes. “I need to talk to you because I have to tell you something that I’ve been thinking about, something I’ve been wrestling with.”
“What is it?” I press my hand to his chest again, this time in a comforting way.
His hand travels over to my side, right to my rib cage, the shirt practically covering nothing of me at this point as I lie here, nearly exposed to him.
“I . . . I . . .” He pauses again, and whatever he has to say, he’s nervous about it, so I rub my thumb over his trimmed chest hair. The gentle touch causes him to lock eyes with me. After a few seconds, he finally says, “I can’t stop thinking about you, Gabby.”
Okay, I was not expecting that.
“It’s all the goddamn time,” he continues. “In the morning when I’m getting Mac ready for school, while I’m in the classroom trying to teach, out on the field, at home making dinner, when I’m putting Mac to sleep, when I’m waiting to hear you come in to use the shower. It’s all the fucking time, and it’s plaguing me.”
“Oh,” I say softly.
“And I told myself not to get distracted, not to get lost in your eyes whenever you’re around, but fuck, I can’t.” His grip on me grows tighter. “I can’t, Gabby.”
“I’m sorry. I’m trying, Ryland. I really am. I’m trying to put the distance there?—”
“I don’t want the distance,” he says, snapping my attention back to his eyes.
“Y-you don’t?”
“No. I don’t.” He moves in closer and pushes me to my back. He drags my shirt up and over my head, leaving me bare to him as his large body hovers over mine. “I don’t want the separation. I want this closeness.Us. Not distance. And I swore I’d wait tosay something. I told myselfnot today, so I’m sorry for being a selfish prick, but I want this. I want you. I want to try to be the kind of man you deserve.”
My mind swirls as I attempt to understand what he’s saying and where this is all coming from.
“I . . . I’m confused. I thought you didn’t want a relationship.”
“So did I,” he says softly. “But I can’t deny my feelings for you, Gabby. They’re too fucking strong. So I can either continue to battle them and get eaten alive from the inside every goddamn time I see you or I can do something about it. I’m choosing to do something about it.” He cups my cheek and strokes my skin with his thumb. “Will you let me?”
“Let you try?”
He nods. “Let me try to be the man you deserve?”
Doesn’t he realize he’s already that man? He’s everything I’ve been looking for, and the only thing that’s currently holding me back is the uncertainty in his eyes. Almost like he’s scared, fearful of what’s to come.
“I . . . I don’t want to get hurt, Ryland. I know this isn’t something you wanted, and I don’t want to be the guinea pig, the one you test it out on.”
His thumb continues to rub my cheek. “You’re not the guinea pig, Gabby. I’d never do that to you. If I was a stronger man, I wouldn’t even approach you about this. I’d bottle it up and keep it to myself, sticking to my convictions.” He shakes his head. “But I fucking can’t. Every time I look into your eyes, a combination of the dark and light parts of the ocean, I get lost. I feel overcome by something more powerful than I ever thought possible, and all I want to do is be near you, hold you, and cherish you. I’ve attempted to stay away, but it’s not working. So if you’ll have me, if you’ll forgive me for being selfish, for putting myself first, I ask if you’d give me a chance? If you’ll be my girl?”
How on earth could I possibly say no to that?
I’ve been developing feelings for this man for weeks. He certainly made me come out of this fog of not wanting to be in a relationship. He showed me the kindness a man can give. He displayed love for his family, for his niece. He’s anything but selfish, and I know I’d never be able to deny myself of him if he gave me the opportunity to take what I want.
So on a shaky breath, I loop my hand behind his neck and pull him down, where I lightly press my lips to his. He sighs into the touch, melts against my body, and then molds our mouths together, deepening the kiss.Fuck, I’d forgotten how unbelievable his kisses are.
“Fuck,” he whispers, peppering my jaw with kisses. “Tell me this is real. Tell me you said yes.”
“It’s real,” I say as he cups my breast. I wrap my leg around his leg, pulling his brief-covered pelvis close to mine.
His mouth finds mine again, and this time, he parts my lips, and his tongue dances across my tongue, tangling and mixing, causing a swirl of excitement to pass through me. His kisses level up the intensity, bringing it from somber to excited in seconds where I’m clawing at him and pushing his briefs down with my foot. His cock springs against my leg, and I’m enamored with the feeling of how hard he is already.
He helps me take off his briefs and throws them to the side before bringing all the attention back to my mouth. I can’t remember kissing him this much, at least not as much as that one night with him.
“I fucking love your mouth. You drug me,” he says before pressing his tongue against mine again. His fingers play with my nipple at the same time, all the while he slowly pulses his cock against my leg.
And I love it.
