Page 144 of The Path to Loving Him
Ryland sticks his hands in his jean pockets, probably attempting to look casual, but the bulge in his pecs and the flex in his forearms are anything but casual.
“Gabby, I was hoping to talk to you about practice tonight.”
“Sure,” I answer, feeling so incredibly awkward.
But why?
It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong.
In fact, I’m doing absolutely nothing wrong. Like I’ve said before, Ryland has no claim over me. None.
And that dent in his brow and the light snarl in his lip should not be directed toward me or this situation. We’re friends without benefits—which means just friends—and that gives me the freedom to do whatever I want. Do I miss the sex? Yes, of course. But this is how it’s meant to be between us, and I’m good with that.
With that rolling around in my head, I turn to Christian and say, “Um, tonight sounds great. I can text you where to pick me up. Just let me know what time.”
“Great,” Christian says, a large smile on his face. “I’ll text you.”
With his lunch in hand, he moves away and nods at Ryland, who barely even acknowledges Christian’s presence as he stares me down.
Not this again.
Wanting privacy because I know what’s coming next, I walk past Ryland and shut the door. When I turn around, he’s standing right in front of me, crowding my space.
“Ryland,” I say with a hand held up to him. “Don’t even start with me on whatever is going through that mind of yours. You’re here to talk about practice, so let’s talk about practice.” Before he can even touch me, I move away and take a seat on top of my desk.
It takes him a few seconds, but when he turns around, he asks, “Are you really going out with him tonight?”
And here I thought he was going to listen to me. “What does it matter to you?”
“It doesn’t.”
“It clearly does if you’re asking.”
“I’m asking because he’s not the kind of guy you should be going on dates with.”
I roll my eyes. “And how the hell do you know who I should be going out with?”
“He’s a serial dater, Gabby. He’s been around the block with every single teacher in this school. He’s just asking you out because you’re another woman to check off his list.”
“Wow, that’s incredibly insulting. Maybe he’s asking me out because he finds me interesting, attractive, and possibly fun.”
“You’re fresh meat to him.”
I fold my arms across my chest. “Unless you plan on talking baseball with me, just leave. I can’t do this runaround with you, Ryland. That’s why I’ve distanced myself from you. And honestly, the past week and a half has been smooth for me. I haven’t been in my head, confused about what you want, what I want. I’ve been able to breathe, and I’ve enjoyed the distance from you.”
He rears back. “Wow, I didn’t know I was repressing you so much.”
“You haven’t been repressing me. You’ve been messing with my mind, and I don’t want to deal with it anymore.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose,” he says back. “Christ, do you think this has been easy for me too? This is fucking torture, Gabby. I don’t like . . . hell.” He pulls on the back of his neck in frustration. “I don’t like being this attracted to you.”
“Well, I’m sorry for the inconvenience I’ve bestowed upon you.”
“Cut that shit,” he says in a stern tone. “You know I’m not blaming you. If anything, I’m blaming myself. I never should have taken that first taste. Now it’s like a goddamn spiral that I can’t seem to get out of. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“That’s something you need to figure out on your own and not invite me into your personal hell, because I’ve found space. I’ve found a good rhythm to my day. Maybe you should do the same.”
His jaw ticks as he stares back at me. “Have you really found a way to deal with it? Or have you run into the arms of someone else?”
