Page 63 of How My Neighbour Stole Christmas
“Aunt Cindy?”
“Yes, dear?” she says, her sleepy eyes meeting mine.
“Were you…and pardon my language, but were youcock shockedlast night?”
“Storee,” Taran chastises. “Do not ask our great-aunt that.”
“What?” I ask with a lift of my shoulders. “It’s a fair question. She seems to be in some far-off land, and I feel like it’s our right to know if she was just as mesmerized as the rest of the town last night.”
“It’s quite all right,” Aunt Cindy says, pacifying Taran. “I will admit I was not expecting Cole—the recluse who chooses to stay in his house during the Christmas season rather than be involved—to be up there on the stage, dressed up as a sexy Grinch, thrusting away. It was a bit shocking and, well…yes, he’s extremely attractive, and it reminded me of, well, you don’t need to know what it reminded me of, but yes, I might have been a touch mesmerized. But no need to worry; I’m still very much in the game.”
“Okay, because we still have a long way to go, and I can’t lose you on this next competition since I have no idea what we’re doing.”
“The light display,” she says. “They give us points in two parts. First for your initial setup and idea, and then on Christmas Eve, they give you points for how you improved the display throughout the season, because as Christmas decorators, we’re always tinkering with our masterpieces. So they want to see how well we can add to the theme. This will be our most challenging competition. Cole has helped me in the past—”
“He has?” I ask.
Aunt Cindy nods. “Nothing too extravagant, but I believe it’s why I’ve always come last in this category. Not because Cole wasn’t good at hanging lights, but because I never wanted to use him too much. It’s the category we need to improve on the most.”
“And he probably knows that…damn it,” I say, swatting at the coffee table and causing Joanie the angel to shake. Aunt Cindy gives me a warning glare.
“I can help with the lights,” Taran says.
“That’s right,” Aunt Cindy says. “Look how well you did with the decorations in the house.”
“She did do a wonderful job,” I say, looking around. “Only problem is, we have three days to get the light display done and we have no plan, no lights, and no idea what we’re going to do. And no offense, Taran, but hanging these decorations took you a week. We don’t have that kind of time.”
Aunt Cindy taps her chin as I unwrap the Fonz. His large head with sideburns on a baby-sized body always kills me. “That’s true, you are slow,” she says. “You take a long time cleaning my crevices too.”
I shiver while Taran stands tall. “Do you want an infection?”
“I just want to be cleaned, not ogled.”
“Good God,” Taran says in disgust. “Trust me, if I could wash you with my eyes closed, I would.”
“Well, that’s rude,” Aunt Cindy huffs.
“Well, it’s rude to assume that I enjoy washing my great-aunt’s crevices.”
“Okay, okay…everyone, calm down,” I say, using my hands to urge them down. “We can’t be infighting—that’s what Cole would want. We need to stay cohesive. A solid unit moving into this light display. Even though it pains me, we have to take note that right now we’re not losing, we’re just tied, and going into the light display knowing we took last place in previous years is not ideal. But I think…I think we can take this, or at least score higher points.”
“And how do you think we do that?” Aunt Cindy asks. “Do you have an idea?”
I shake my head as I help Taran remove the manger—aka the diner—from the bin. “No, but I think I can do some snooping today.” I pause and then ask, “Peach and Paula, they own the hardware store, right? They’re the ones judging the light display?”
“Correct,” Aunt Cindy says.
“Do you think we could take a page out of Cole’s book and see if they’re interested in a little…flirting?”
Aunt Cindy eyes me and slowly shakes her head. “No, not recommended. They’re smart and not easily wooed by the human form in booty shorts like Sherry Conrad. If anything, I think they’d hold it against you because they’d see right through your tactics.”
“Damn it.” I lean against the coffee table as Taran gently places the “manger” on the mantel. “Then that brings me back to the snooping.”
“What kind of snooping are you going to do?” Taran asks.
“Don’t worry about it, but while I’m out, I need you two to look through the outside decorations we already have and start formulating ideas. We need something with pizzazz, something flashy—”
“I don’t do flashy,” Aunt Cindy says.
