Page 142 of How My Neighbour Stole Christmas
“Of course,” I say. “Now show me this room. I’m dying to explore.”
He starts up the stairs, and I follow. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?” he mutters as I stare at his taut ass.
“Do you do a lot of squats?”
“Huh?” he asks, looking over his shoulder as we reach the top of the stairs.
“You have a really nice ass, and I’m just wondering if you do a lot of squats.”
He tugs on his hair, his embarrassment adorable. “Uh, no. But I lift a lot of things at the farm.”
“Well, keep it up. It’s nice and round.”
“Thanks,” he says with a laugh and then pulls me through the door to his bedroom.
The first thing I notice is the slanted ceiling that falls to just above his head. In height alone, he’s clearly outgrown the space.
The next thing I notice is the smaller bed. Not a twin, not a queen, it has to be a double. Not a problem—I don’t mind clinging onto him tonight.
And then from there, my eyes traverse the room, taking in the shelf that’s stacked with books, a few trophies, and some knickknacks. There’sa desk with an out-of-date laptop perched on it, some notebooks, and a cup for his pencils. Not sure why, but the thought of him using a pencil over a pen makes my heart warm.
A braided rug spans the floor, and since there’s no closet, he has a clothes rack in the corner full of flannels and a dresser right next to it.
But the item that is really getting my attention is the poster on the wall right across from his bed.
He must sense it because he says, “Don’t say anything.”
“I promised I wouldn’t judge.”
“I can feel you judging.”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “Just…fascinated with your choice.”
“It’s not what you think,” he says. “It was a gag gift from Max, and when I left for college, he hung it up there, and I just never took it down.”
Turning toward him, I say, “But can I ask you a question about it?”
“Sure,” he says, probably regretting that answer immediately.
“Have you ever gotten off to it?”
“A picture of Miss Piggy fromThe Muppetssitting on the beach—do you really think I’ve gotten off to that?”
“I don’t know,” I say with a laugh. “It’s just…I mean, she’s in a bit of a provocative position.”
“The answer is no,” he says, his face as serious as can be.
“Okay, fair, just making sure.” I pause and stare at the poster. “Another question, what are your thoughts on taking it down? You know, since I plan on sleeping over tonight and I don’t quite feel right about bouncing up and down on your penis with Miss Piggy watching.”
He chuckles and then moves toward the poster. “I can take it down.”
“Only if you want to, no pressure. We can drape a blanket over her.”
“No, we can take it down, and I can take it to work tomorrow and hang it up in Max’s office area where he sharpens his axes. Give him something to yearn for.”
That makes me laugh as I watch him take the poster down, revealing a fist-sized hole in the wall.
“Oh shit, I forgot that was there,” he says.
