Page 44 of Bridesmaid Undercover
Just wait and see.
You might turn your nose up at the idea of a beer pong tournament, but I think after this party, you’re going to change your mind.
And just so you know, I’m going to be gone for the next two days, headed out to the farm, but I’ll be checking my email if you need anything. Also…don’t be afraid to text if you need to. I won’t bite.
Henrietta
To:Hardy Hopper
From: Everly Plum
Subject: Text?
Henrietta,
Texting? Do you really think we’re at the level of texting? I don’t know about that. I prefer the low pressure of an email. Gives me some time to think about a response rather than a quick quip in a text.
And going to the farm? What does that entail exactly? Inquiring minds want to know.
Are you going to poke anyone with a pitchfork again?
Throw some hay bales around? Wait…do you have hay bales on your farm?
Either way, please at least tell me you’re going to wear overalls with your fisherman hat. Even if you don’t, pleasedon’t ruin the image I have of that outfit on you in my head. Thanks.
The Prof
To:Everly Plum
From: Hardy Hopper
Subject: RE: Text?
Professor,
You know, you might be right. I don’t think I’m ready for text messages either, do you know why? Because you’re far too witty, I wouldn’t be quick enough on the draw. So, I agree. We should strictly stay with emails unless an absolute emergency occurs.
And of course we have hay bales on the farm, what do you think we feed the almonds? See that response? I wouldn’t have been able to come up with something so witty if this conversation was in text message form.
No to the pitchfork. I’ve been forbidden from using one now, so thank you for asking, not a sore subject at all.
Farm attire would consist of jeans and a T-shirt, sorry to disappoint. I’ve never worn overalls in my life.
And what do I do on the farm? That’s classified information—but if my brother asks, tell him I’m working tirelessly—lifting soil, fixing irrigation, and counting almonds. I’m definitely not just hanging out with the almond trees and staring up at the expansive sky.
Nope. Work, work, work.
Henrietta
To:Hardy Hopper
From: Everly Plum
Subject: RE: Text?
Henrietta,
If you’re not feeding your almonds hay, then what the hell are you doing over there?
