Page 41 of Bridesmaid Undercover
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say as I rise quickly out of my chair. I toss my napkin on the table and turn toward Ember. “Care to join?”
“Not really,” she says, shaking her head, probably knowing exactly why I want to go to the bathroom.
“Well, too bad,” I say as I grab her arm and tug her out of her chair.
Silently, we work our way through the restaurant, toward the back, and right into the women’s bathroom. When the door is shut, I turn toward her. “What the hell were you thinking? Tomothy? You think I should be dating Tomothy? The man with the incessant need to burp every time he takes a sip of his water? What the hell is up with that?”
“Yes, I found that a touch odd,” Ember says while tapping her chin.
“A touch odd?” I whisper-shout. “Ember, he’s vile.”
“Now, now, he’s not all that bad. He brought you flowers.”
“That were half dead, and he told me he got them on a slashed price.”
“Money conscious, that’s not a bad thing,” Ember says.
“When Trevor asked him how he was doing, Tomothy said, not bad, just upset he found a hole in his undies. He saidundies, Ember.”
“Some might find that endearing,” she says with a shoulder shrug.
“And when I asked him what he did for fun, he said he liked to go to the piers wearing his female body inspector shirt.”
Ember lightly winces. “I think that was a joke.”
“No one laughed,” I say through a clenched jaw. “Face it, he’s disgusting, and this was a horrible decision. I will never trust you, ever again, when it comes to my love life.”
She folds her arms over her chest. “I’ll give you the fact that Tomothy is not the catch I thought he’d be, but he’s better than pining after someone who’s pining after another person.”
“Listen, I’d rather be sad, pathetic, and alone, clutching a Professor Plum game piece than ever see Tomothy ever again.”
“That seems a bit harsh.”
“It’s the truth,” I say just as there’s a knock on the bathroom door.
Confused, we both turn around only for Tomothy to peek his head inside. “Ah, there you are. I’m experiencing some gas and wanted to see if you were too. Figured that was your reasoning for a quick departure to the toilets.”
I turn to Ember and mouth, “I hate him,” before turning back toward Tomothy. “I’m not experiencing any gas, thanks for the inquiry though.”
“Are you sure, because…”—he clutches his stomach—“things are happening down below.”
Oh.
My.
God.
“As a matter of fact, yes,” I say as I charge toward the door, moving him to the side. “I’m experiencing gastric distress and I need to go home.”
Tomothy nods in understanding. “I get it. I only like to deposit in my own space as well, something we have in common.” He smiles, and it takes everything in me not to lift his tie and stuff it up his very large, but clean nostrils.
“And with that, I’m leaving,” I say.
“Okay, sure, understand the rush,” he says walking after me. “Shall I call you later to check in? See how it went?”
“I’d rather you not,” I say.
“Then maybe we can plan for another date,” he replies as we walk past a few tables in the dining area.
