Page 32 of Bridesmaid Undercover
“What?” I say on a laugh. “That…that was fucking terrible.” I continue to chuckle.
“Ohhrr, get stuffed,” she says continuing the worst Australian accent I ever heard. “Billabong and crocs on the barbie.”
“Stop.” I wipe at my eyes as tears form from laughter.
“Blimey, there are heaps of ankle-biters in this park, mate.”
“Seriously. Fucking terrible.”
“Ohhrr, rack off.”
I chuckle some more. “You have to stop. You’re going to make my nose fall off.” I press against the prosthetic, hoping the glue is situated.
She lets out a wallop of a laugh as she grabs my arm to steady herself. Together, we laugh uncontrollably for a few seconds before we both calm down. Everly reaches into her purse and hands me a tissue so I can swipe at my tears.
“Maybe we just go by Phillip and Bindi,” she says, once we’re calm. “The couple from San Francisco that likes to observe the animals on weekdays to keep their relationship alive. We’re into different mating techniques, thrive off getting our required steps for the day, and don’t mind riding the carousel despite not being predators.”
“Okay…but how do we feel about fish wearing top hats?”
She looks at my shirt and then back at me. “Clearly in favor.”
“And what about the ankle-biters that are crawling around the park?” I lift a brow.
“If they come near us, we hiss.”
I chuckle. “Is that hiss in unison?”
“Obviously.” She tugs on her ponytail.
I nod. “I think that could work.”
“Wonderful.” She folds up the map. “Shall we?” She gestures toward the flamingos, which are tucked deeper into the zoo.
I hold my arm out to her, and she links hers through mine. “I think we shall, Bindi.”
“Why, thank you, Phillip.”
And then together, we head straight forward, toward the flamingo enclosure, just past the carousel “ankle-biters” roaming all around us, but not close enough to warrant a unified hiss.
Not much has changed since I was last here. Maybe a few signs. Plants and trees are bigger, but same pathways, same café, same…smell.
After a few moments of silence, she asks, “Have you been here before?”
“Yeah, Maple and I used to come all the time.”
“Really?” she asks.
I look at her quickly as I feel something pop along my skin. “How’s my nose?”
She looks up at me. “In place.”
“Thanks, felt like it slid for a moment. And to answer your question, yes, back in college, Maple and I spent a lot of time looking over the flamingos. Being back here honestly brings up a lot of memories. There was this one time when we decided to share a coffee. Well, I didn’t know she’d never really had a coffee before. It was her first ever and, Jesus, did she have quite the reaction.”
“Oh? What happened?”
“She was hyper as shit, rattling off flamingo facts like she was an auctioneer.”
Everly chuckles. “So you must know a lot about flamingos then.”
