Page 30 of Bridesmaid Undercover
And why the nose? Well, isn’t it obvious? I had to do something that was going to make me look drastically different, and a fake nose, long wig, and fisherman’s hat was the way to go. That’s right, I purchased a wig as well, and man, does it make me look a lot like Jared Leto. And when I say a lot, I mean almost identical. The only difference? I probably have thirty pounds more of muscle than the man.
But when you add the crooked, slightly witchy nose, it takes away the appeal, which I think was smart. Otherwise, Maple would recognize me first. Thankfully she hasn’t really seen me with this thicker beard either, so I think this getup will really keep me from view.
To top off the disguise, I strapped on a pair of old, paint-splattered sweatpants, a T-shirt that has a picture of a fish in a top hat, hanging on to a moon, and gathered my wig-hair into a ponytail. I considered adding a Cindy Crawford beauty mark but thought that would be stretching it.
Now, if Maple recognizes me in this getup, well, then…she must have a distorted memory of me, that’s for damn sure.
My phone buzzes in my hand with a text.
Everly:Where are you?
Hardy:Just outside the Wildlife Connection. Where are you?
Everly:Right out front.
I look up from my phone and catch a woman of Everly’s height and body type, wearing a baseball hat, sunglasses, and a red dress with sneakers. From the long black hair sticking out the back of her baseball hat, I’m going to assume that’s Everly.
“Hey,” I call out, drawing her attention.
When she turns toward me, her mouth falls slightly ajar as she slowly lowers her sunglasses.
Her eyes carefully roam over my sweatpants, her brows contract when she takes in my shirt, and when her stare meets mine, she takes a step back.
Her nose scrunches up in the cutest way. “Henrietta?”
I chuckle and nod. “It’s me.”
She closes the space between us, her eyes on me the entire time. “Oh my God, what did you do to yourself?” she asks.
“I said to come in disguise, so I did.” Because I want to give her the full effect, I spin for her while holding my arms out. “You like?”
She blinks a few times behind her sunglasses. “Are you…are you wearing a fake nose?”
“I am,” I say, touching it. “What do you think?”
She studies me, a smile creeping over her face. “You look incredibly predatorial.”
“What?” I laugh. “You think I look like a predator?”
“Oh yeah, a real creep, especially with the ponytail.” She shivers. “Very…unbecoming.”
“Unbecoming?” I ask with a scoff. “How could you possibly say that when I’m wearing a shirt like this?”
“It’s a fish in a top hat clinging to the moon. Where did you even find something like that?”
“You know.” I scratch the top of my fisherman’s hat. “I was thinking about that this morning when I chose to wear it. I can’t seem to place where such a shirt would have fallen into my wardrobe, but I kind of like it. Real breezy, real comfortable.”
“It says,When You Fish Upon a Star.”
“I know.” I smile. “Catchy, right?”
“It’s not great.”
I laugh. “Wasn’t aware I would be participating in a fashion show today. And sorry, but I don’t think you have room to speak—you look like one of those old lady mall walkers in a dress and sneakers,” I counter.
“Was that supposed to be a burn?” she asks, a smirk dancing across her lips.
“It was. Did it not singe the way it was supposed to?”
