Page 28 of Bridesmaid Undercover
From: Hardy Hopper
Subject: Best Gift Giver
Oh, I know that it’s the thought that counts and cash can’t buy everything, but sometimes, when you need to buy a boat for someone, the cash does help.
And it hurts me that you didn’t like Hardy Har Har. I thought it was clever, but I can’t anger my partner in crime, so I guess I’ll change it…to…Clod.
Clod Hopper.
Clodhopper.
Because, you know, Hardy HOPPER.
Now, that’s clever.
And before you ask, yes, I can be very clumsy. Just ask my ranch hand who got a poke in the ass with a pitchfork one time. *raises hand* Guilty.
Clod
To:Hardy Hopper
From Everly Plum
Subject: RE: Best Gift Giver
Clod is just as terrible as Hardy Har Har. I don’t want to judge you, but you’re not giving me much of a choice.
Also, how much of a poke with a pitchfork are we talking here? Did you draw blood? Did you pierce skin? Is there still a mark? Did he get you back? More details are needed.
And finally…I was wondering why you changed the subject of the email only to have a parcel dropped off at my table while I was sitting at The Bean, working. Don’t get me started on how you even knew where I was, but I’m currently holding a purple game piece token that is very familiar. The kind of token you’d find in the game Clue. Did you happen to send me a Professor Plum game piece?
Everly
To:Everly Plum
From: Hardy Hopper
Subject: You’re Welcome
I won’t name my sources of how I know your whereabouts, but I figured there was a slim chance you would be there when the parcel was sent. Glad it worked out for me.
And yes, that is a Professor Plum token from Clue, but don’t tell Hudson I took it from his game. I hope you hold this gift in high regard. Goes to show that I don’t need money to be the best gift giver. Just a quick hand while stealing from my brother.
As for the pitchfork incident, I can’t go into much detail, but I will say this. A trip to the hospital was involved, so I’ll let your imagination do the rest.
And since you didn’t like Clod, and you seem to be very picky, I’m going to let you choose my codename. That waythere are no complaints and we can move forward with our espionage. Here are your options:
Colonel Mustard—no resemblance to the man or condiment, but if I could grow a mustache like him, I would.
Miss Scarlett—because just like her, I’m young, cunning, and very attractive. (And yes, thirties is still young, despite what you might think in your twenty-one years of age)
Henrietta Peacock—because if anything, peacocks are just as majestic as flamingos and I think I need to be one with the bird to complete this mission we’re on. Don’t you think?
Take your pick.
Hardy
To:Hardy Hopper
