Page 209 of Bridesmaid Undercover
No, I don’t trust him with my heart.
My body, well…once again, let’s not go there.
“Would you like any champagne?” Darla, the shop owner, asks as she comes up to us. I’ve known Darla for a while, and when Polly said I needed an elegant black gown, I knew exactly where to go. Darla will let me rent because she knows I’ll take great care of the dress and return it in pristine condition.
“I’m good,” Polly says. “Maybe some water though.”
“Water is good for me too,” I say just as Darla ducks into the back and the door to the shop opens.
From the way Polly’s eyes dart to the front, I have a sneaking suspicion I don’t even need to look to know who it is.
“Oh, wow, Hardy, you’re here,” Polly says in the least convincing tone I’ve ever heard.
Surprise. Surprise.
I turn to see Hardy walk toward us wearing a maroon suit with a black button-up shirt underneath. I know how much he hates wearing his professional clothes, but even I have to admit how good he looks in them.
And that’s the only nice thing I will say about him.
“Yeah, Ken told me about the last-minute change, and I thought I should help out any way I can,” he says as he presses a kiss to Polly’s cheek in greeting. When he turns toward me, I hold up my hand.
“Come any closer and I’ll knife-hand you in the neck like I did in the car.”
Luckily, he’s smart enough to realize a real threat when he hears it, and he keeps his distance.
“She seems spicy,” Hardy says. “Is that the bridesmaid you ordered?” He sticks his hands in his pockets and gives me a long once-over. “Hot too.”
Oh, fuck off, Hardy.
I don’t need your offhand comments.
“Well, this seems uncomfortable,” Polly says, and then she turns toward me, a look of apology in her eyes. “He made me do this.”
“I’m not surprised,” I say to Polly. “Just disappointed that you went along with it.”
She presses her hands together. “He promised me paid-for excursions on our honeymoon. I couldn’t pass it up.”
I nod. “I get it—I don’t blame you. I blame him.”
“That’s fine with me,” Polly says. “Now, as he planned…” She clears her throat and then grips her forehead. “Oh no, I seem to have come down with a migraine.” Her voice is monotone and incredibly unconvincing. “Whatever should I do? I want to help pick out a dress, but dear heavens, the pain. Oh, the throbbing pain.”
“Oh, I know,” I say, playing into the ridiculousness of this scene. “Why don’t you go home, and Hardy can take your place?”
“Wow,” Polly says. “You know, I never would have thought of that. Hiring you was one of my best decisions ever.”
“I expect that same sentiment in a glowing review,” I say while I fold my arms over my chest.
“Oh, I can’t possibly say anything else.” Then she turns to Hardy and adds, “Dear sir, do you think you could take my place? The pain is just so excruciating. Ouchie wah wah.”
Hardy’s expression flattens. “Ouchie wah wah?”
Polly shrugs. “Thought it really expressed the type of pain I’m in.”
“You sound like a fool,” he says.
“Really? Insulting the person who’s helping you out?” Polly asks.
“You’re right.” He clears his throat. “Why, of course I can help out, Polly. Anything you need. I can undress Everly and help her into her dresses.”
