Page 58 of Bridesmaid Undercover
But there is no stopping them as they walk up the stairs. When they’re at the top, Everly pushes me toward the bathrooms so we’re out of sight. “What the hell are you doing?” she whispers.
“What the hell am I doing?” I ask, pointing to my chest. “What the hell are you doing? You really think sending Brody up there with Maple is a good idea? He’s a fucking loose cannon.”
“I’m not concerned about Brody. I’m concerned about you. This is a train wreck, Hardy. I’m actually starting to sweat over here and I don’t ever sweat.”
“You’re sweating?” I ask. “I’m fucking roasting with embarrassment. Brody won’t shut up. He’s making this worse. You need to send him away.”
“He’s not going to leave, he’s too proud of his space.”
“Then you go one way with him, and I’ll go one way with Maple.”
“Uh, not going to happen,” she whispers. “She specifically told me not to leave her alone with you.”
“Why? Is she afraid I’m going to bite?” I ask.
“No, probably afraid you might motorboat her again.”
My face falls flat. “I did not motorboat her, I tripped and fell into her breasts.”
“Ah, yes, isn’t that what every man says when he finds himself nose deep in a pair of tits?”
Not…funny.
Crouching down and keeping my voice low, I say, “Do you really think as a way of greeting someone I haven’t seen in years, I would stick my head in their breasts?”
“I don’t know, Hardy, you do seem to be a bit unhinged at the moment.”
“I would never do that,” I nearly shout but keep things contained. “I was going in for a kiss on the cheek, like I did with you. Brody tripped me and thenbam, face to boob. That’s not my fault. And it’s also not my fault that you moved your face when I was trying to demonstrate what I was trying to do, thereby kissing you on the nose. That was unintended.”
“It was a wet kiss.”
My brows collide as I close the space between us, leaving our faces mere inches apart. “It was not.”
“It took everything in me not to wipe it off. A fresh breeze from the AC still makes my nose light up.”
“Not…funny, Everly.”
“Uh, it’s Professor to you, and I’m not trying to be funny, Henrietta. I’m telling you facts. That was a wet kiss.”
“That was not a wet kiss.” I puff my chest and then grip her cheek with my hand. “If you want to see a wet kiss, I’ll show you a wet kiss,” I say just as a throat is cleared off to the side.
Startled, I leap back, as if Everly is lava.
Unfortunately for me, my leap doesn’t land me safely on the floor, oh no, because that would be too simple.
Nope. My startlement instead sends me backward, flat into the wall behind me…the very false wall behind me. You can only imagine, my weight is no match for it and before I know it, I’m tipping backward, the wall careening to the floor with me in a loud crash.
Drywall cracks around me, dust shoots up into the air, as I land on my back—and a shrill cry breaks out as Brody hurries to my side, Maple trailing in his wake.
“That wall took me an hour to paint and set up, and you just broke it,” he yells, not bothering to check if anything on my body is wounded.
In case you were wondering, just my pride at this point.
Confused as to what just happened, I say, “Why wasn’t the wall secured?”
“I hadn’t had a chance yet. Why are you acting like Donkey Kong and tossing your man body into walls?” Brody asks.
“I didn’t toss my man body into the wall. I was startled.”
